Weekend Experience

This weekend I got to spend some good time with my brothers Michael and Perry. We made a Movie about Golfing. Played Baseball. Had a Water Gun Fight. Played Basketball. Wrote a Story involving BIll Murray. These guys live for fun. Perry is his own guy, magnificent young man who likes to have fun, that's why he is a champion. Michael is so creative and has a deep love experiencing new adventures, I can't wait to edit movies with him again. When I was in high school I didn't really know what I wanted, I was pretty sure it was football. But it was obvious to me especially that when I came to college that I wanted to be a good big brother. I believe that having this awesome responsibility is a huge reason for who I am now. I walk through the streets with these two guys in the back of my head constantly. My hope is that I can be as big an inspiration to them as they are to me. Perry played a great bad ass golfer today. And Michael took an awesome camera shot with a zoom out, but it was probably so good because he was taping my face. BRO BRODUCTIONS...PEace!

Leaving the room

Good day. Saw Hazel this morning. I love every minute I get to see her. Ate at Cracker Barrel with Grandpa Don and he filled me up with gas. Went to directing and started to let things fall into place for the play. Mandy Robins made Bill and me a poster for our play that was awesome. Our actors came tonight and rocked it for the dress rehearsal. I am so proud of the growth I have seen in my actors. Especially Crista Vande Pol who on one of the first day of practices told me I might need to find a new actress because she didn’t think she could pull off the roll, she is doing so awesome! Colin Koth gave me the creeps like when watching the Joker during Batman in one of his scenes. Lindsay Reinhardt is like a third party director always on top of things. Nathan Schlatter sleeps a lot but always manages to show up on time. I am jacked for opening night and feel so lucky to be placed in a position to do this show. Bill McLane Ballards my boy and it has been a truly enriching experience to co-direct with him. Dudes got solid work ethic and it’s been fun to learn and watch from him as a director. Had a classic ridiculous conversation with Brad Hartzler at McDonalds’ yesterday. Enough said sweet life!

Find your world

I got to see my Great Grandma Hazel again today who was being entertained by lots of family. I am so lucky to have a Great Grandma that I have been able to spend so much time with growing up. I look at her and it breathes memories of checkers games we've played and great meals Don and Hazel and I ate in Canton at the Angus, Laurie’s, and most recently Luckys. One of my most memorable Hazel stories was that she told me that she got an A on a test in high school and a teacher didn’t believe she could do it. He decided that she must have cheated and ripped the paper up. I love Hazel alot. I pray God loves her with all he has.

Right now my adventure is finding what I want and figuring out how I want to get it. This is also what I am encouraging my actors to do in the one act that I am directing called Check Please! It’s a play about a series of really bad dates, and is a very popular one act performed on the high school level. I am trying to get the actors in the play to be themselves. When an actor isn’t believable I think it’s usually because he or she is trying too hard. Recently I have been letting myself quit trying. Now I don’t meaning I’m hiding or avoiding but, not trying so hard to make whatever situation I’m in a good scene. In acting and in life I think it’s easy to forget who we are. The awesome part of being who we are is that we don’t have to do a damn thing, we just are and that’s fascinating, trying to hard alters and hides that side of us. I’d like to think a lot of these thoughts have been due to some great conversation with Brette Goldstein who Kim Bartling had come to USF and was made available to anyone on campus who wanted to learn about cast calling or business, or acting in general. Brette is a casting film agent from New York. What I liked the most about her was that we just talked. Important things on my mind made her list. Her list seemed to be that whatever we were about at the time was worth talking about, and it was something that could become powerful in our lives. She called David Bowe a woodland elf creature. Very personable lady, I was impressed at how well she relates and keeps a classroom interesting. I screwed the idea of possibly going to other colleges this year, USF is where it’s at and it keeps offering great opportunities to grow as an individual.

I feel that I am starting to find what world I want to live in. My mom has always told me that I could do anything if I put my mind to it. Most of my life I have appreciated the encouragement but have had a different translation for what she said. What I heard was that if you try really hard and have a goal hopefully some good things will happen to you along the way and you’ll end up having an awesome life. I think that’s still true actually, but that only has to be possible if that’s the world you want to enter. I now believe what my mom said. I believe we have the actual chance to do what we want to. To do that I believe I have to know what I want, and how I want to get there. The way I want to get their right now is by directing my one acts, and working diligently on all my end of the year projects. I want to watch the humans as I walk around USF and see what encounters happen and learn more about humanity. The world and life I want is right in front me. And I am more excited about diving into than anything else right now.

DMV

Got my new license turned 21 not to long ago. At the DMV I sat by a man named Bill Jacobs from Hartford, SD. He lived in Hartford for 62 years. He loves coming to Sioux Falls (with his wife I believe) and going to places like the convention center. Said he served in World War Two and was placed in Guam. I wasn't sure about his sensibilities so didn't ask him if he was fighting or what his position was. He said he was drafted through Canton. He remembers a Hoff that was drafted as well who has been the warden at the state prison for years now. Saw Hazel in the hospital. She was a lot more talkative and moving a little today than earlier this week. She told me to hold on to my faith and that what we have is from above. I'm so incredibly blessed to have my Great Grandma Hazel. My buddy Zach Huntley and I jammed out with his guitar playing. Dudes got skill.

These days

These days are busy as hell. I may be getting a small taste of what Kim Bartlings life is like. I have been consumed with homework consisting of calling actors, reading plays, directing scenes, writing poetry and going to poetry readings, writing papers, walks to black sheep, working in the admission office, eating hy-chi, and playing intramural basketball three times a week. And I am a Resident Advisor so I’m always dealing with my jackass residents (the true face of these Jackasses would be Nathan Schlatter and Grant Schouten) I know that Kim Bartlings life is still a lot more hectic than mine and she is an amazing lady! Today I got a flip phone and a tri pod which jacks me out of my mind. I had no idea I had ordered a mini tri pod that was only about the size of the pencil but it’s really pretty neat. Thanks for helping me save money you know who. And your still a wimp.
Today’s interesting fact is a rumor that I investigated to see if it was true. It turns out we have a teacher here named Ceca Cooper and she taught Wes Anderson at a school called St. Michael or Johns I can’t remember for sure. It was a very prestigious prep school and she failed Wes Anderson in history. He would usually just sit in class look around not listening. The faculty had Wes Anderson meetings for about 8 weeks and then eventually kicked him out of the school. She said her husband was Anderson’s creative writing teacher and he actually applied himself and liked that class very much. So if you are a Wes Anderson fan you now realize that some of these details are what his movie Rushmore is based off of. So what’s the moral? Screw your teachers, make clubs and become a famous movie director?
I have been thinking about faith as of lately. What it means? My most recent translation is that it is letting God pour into me in admittance that I don’t really know what faith is suppose to look like. So it’s letting him pour into me not just in prayer but in all phases of my life. An example would be my dad picking me up from school when I was little. Sometimes I would just sit there and wait patiently. It’s possible that work ran late that day. I would be tempted to get up and run home in fear that he wouldn’t come and I would be left alone. Now I can’t remember a time my dad didn’t pick me up on time, and I know that’s not true for all people. But faith in God is trusting that he is a father that will never forget to pick me up on time, and his timing may not be what I want, but giving into what I want over him is a lack of faith, an abandonment from God were we run towards our own evil desires and passions. The inspirations for my current stances are Kim Bartling, bible study with Jeff Ballard and Zach Huntley, the book Sula written by Toni Morrison, Elliot Smith, the movie Rushmore, and any experience when I'm quiet. Thanks for introducing me to Toni Morrison Mike!

Natures Kiss
Invisible birds make music close by
Solemnly making his mark
Like fireworks that spark
A symphony of birds play to the tune of a blooming sky
To look out and wonder
Like there was thunder
Do they take turns?
Do they stand in lines?
Their harmony feels like grass on a wet field
Early morning
How often is it like this?
Natures Kiss

Give me a BREAK!

Its my spring break. This has been a great time to catch up on homework, room cleaning and baseball with my grandpa Al. My current prediction is Butler will win the college basketball tournament. Today I went on a walk to bagel boy this morning. Read my backward forward text for directing, did some out fielding with my grandpa and hit up chili's with grandma and grandpa. Then returned to more homework. My favorite theme in the backward forward textbooks was how it talks about work ethic. If you put in little effort that is what you will get. So the book had a lot of good things to say about directing and was motivational. This semester has been challenging but these are my favorite classes I have taken so far and it is worth it. I love intro to lit and have been doing poetry in my free time and have really been enjoying that. I also made a video based on actual experience at chapel here, it was a testimonial video and portrays how I came to Christ and quit smoking marijuana. It is fun making videos at school because I am in charge of a freshman dorm, my actors live right next door to me and who doesn't want to be in a movie! Being an Ra for freshman has been a joy. I am fortunate to have already been accepted for the job next year as well.
p.s. I lost my keys and my glasses this week, not much has changed.

Kevin Cole told me to start writing. Thank you sir

These are some of my poems that I have been writing. I feel that when I have an experience and write it down, it helps me understand what I am feeling, or what I have learned.

Joel (living)-“we see the most real things when we aren’t creating our own world.”
Letting it be in my walk
I have a great day
I didn’t try to shove anyone out of my way
External noises are kept to a minimum and mostly natural
I let the puzzle come in time
Not worried about whether it will rhyme
An inner peace that calms within
A new day and a new feeling that’s never been
Let the odds be unknown and the encounters lived
Sitting next to me is substance
Without focus this is missed
Deep in the heart I know this is where I belong
If I don’t always try to be right, then I will never be wrong
So I play my role and accept who I am
And feel so blessed to have a new friend.

Absorbed
Trapped by the music I walked outside
Thinking of all the things I hide
I cringe when I suspect she’s at the rink
Should I walk down their I double think
I take a left to avoid the shame of walking alone and thinking about her
North Dakota plates I see, wherever I go there she be.
I see the freedom gas station ahead, my life has changed, new plans were conceived.
My freedom was not inside the store, but the sounds of the city reminded me more.
I’d found it before but walked away. I was stuck in a frame.
The sound of nothing still had sound.
I walked very slowly on the ground.
I found myself happy without a smile.
Before I had been stuck inside myself, it’s dreadful when you can’t think of anything else.