I'm a poet and I didn't even know it

Hiding my fears in a system that plans it's liberation. We're only living on vacation. Scared to grow and not comforted by secular noise. I step out the box to see what the future employs. Believing in Gods all I have. So i continue down the trail, in secret hope that I don't fail. This is where the truth unveils. And I'm not impressed. But at least I confessed, I needed you more than you needed me. it was magic meeting new creation. The creator brought to me what I'd been chasing. Fresh and new and scary feelings came. Jesus taught me more about my name. An unbeliever for so long. Finally believing in his song.

Lunch

People Coming round while I'm sittin at the table. Talkin, sittin, bein, I'm completely able. Make some shit up to create the new. I wish I could make all your dreams come true. But your you and I'm me. I do my part. Why is it I think I can complete you. Partaking in shitty read through. No, go ahead, sit back, be quiet. Don't be a fantasy compliant. Quit dreamin about livin, and start livin in your dreams. This moment is not as queer as it seems. Because where building towards the future and letting our guards down. So don't go for the kill, and hold onto the big punch. This is just one round, enjoy your lunch.

I meant to be with people
But don't want to understand
What he does with his mighty hand
I have my own shit and things to do
He can talk to me when he wants to make me cool
He slaps me in the face again and again
Throwing me illusions and taking them again
But my music comes back after a time or two
Of thinking and thinking and thinking it through
So why is it you so badly want my sole
Because right now I feel a empty whole
It feels I'm already meant to be as I am
I'm man

So I feel that art is awesome, because you have the opportunity to create what you want to create. And you don't have to care about whether it sells or not. u could work a job painting the rest of your life and make art on the side forever, get an easy low paying job that's clever. Judy and me made rhymes on the deck today and we had a nice walk and talk that I enjoyed so much. I wrote a story today and plan on filming it whenever. I Have been trying to find balance for so long, but I think art is more about just doing now. It isn't really something you should have to think about or question, unless you really want to. I'm startin to realize their are things that appeal to me that I have wanted to make lately but have been hesitant because of end result thinking and outside product people thinking. These are illusions that really don't exist like I heard Michael Jordan say in his Hall of Fame speech. I have been listenin to Saul Williams and Elliot Smith, they are so awesome. A big realization for me was that I like them, but I'm not them, not in any way, the only way an end product would sound anything like them and be something I enjoyed would be if it was really meant to be, and then their is really no explanation about that. I love their lyrics, they are meaningful and I believe we are hearing an artist striving and seeking their true voice, and enjoying themselves in it, whether their songs are happy or sad.

Lots of Lies

Teacher Preacher? Why do you keep on?

The Doors Shutting Swiftly down the halls
while painting with the manic scene drums
your switching speeds until the heal comes
because your bored until special words
this syndromes not a choice
Think? its your real voice

Teacher Preacher? Why do you keep on
Teacher Preacher? Why do you keep on

Days full of erasers and chalk
Starting over in every room
Leaving yesterday behind
Cuz yesterday don't go away
Your safe haven might last awhile
So lie to me you stupid pile
Emotionless faces standing in an unknown Place
And your friends make you taste sweet smiles

Teacher Preacher? Why do you keep on
Teacher Preacher? Why do yo keep on
Teacher Preacher? Why do I keep on