Almost a new year

Alrighty, christmas has gone by it was pretty relaxing.  Just kind of hung out and saw some movies, went to chuch, watched football, ate way too much food and worked out to combat that.  I started thinking about new years resolutions yesterday, i am not sure what i will pick yet, i think it will be stereotypical health stuff to be honest.  Im not sure what else to write but I havent blogged in awhile, i did book another gig or this holiday and that was fun, it will be cool to see what it looks like when it comes out.  Still need to get a new computer, just got to go shopping around a little bit.  Looking for a new roommate also, got rent bills that will need to be paid.  I have been teaching less at the pre school, i have been putting out applications for other jobs.  Today is a pretty simple day, im just glad that i have a chance to make small improvements today, not looking at my situation so hard and trying to remember whats really important in life, im not that important, how you take care of yourselfs important the people you love are important.  My aunt and uncle are coming out to visit in about a month I look forward to that, this is also what the actors call pilot season, which means new shows are having auditions and auditions could be potentially a little more hot you just never know.  Im thankful for all the success i have had this year, all the fun people i have met on projects, and all the support from back home.  But putting acting jargon aside and everything else, itd be good to find things like, church and community and whats really important in life this year. Lets do it!

Hey

Today I got some submissions out and picked up my cd of headshots got my Star Wars audition in and have a few auditions tomorrow. I know I am missing some training I need to get back into training somehow. Right now I am looking into a commercial class. I think networking is also important. Need to continue to expand my network. I also think writing can be a useful tool. I think it's good that I am starting to see things more as opportunities and there is less weight on each and every little thing. If I have an opportunity one day that's great there is still a list of plenty of things to do after whether a booking comes through or not. Need to get info for passport in. Deposit a preschool check, get my pictures to my theatrical agent, sign up for a class and continue looking into side jobs and projects that I can be in or work on. Lots of inns and outs lately, what have yous. A lot of strands in the old duffers head. The dude abides I'm out.

Yo

Well. This has been an interesting couple of weeks. I went to a festival that a short film I was in played at. I got a ton of positive feedback, people thought my acting was good. It was a good time they let us improv most of it and it was fun to see the finished project. All the Jewish people were pretty drunk, there was an open bar and free food. Yes, I took full advantage. Went to a pro basketball game with roommates tonight it was fun haven't seen one out here so that was great. I am trying to think about everything more positively. There's a big open call for Star Wars going on so that's cool. Trying to figure out whether to submit online or just fly to Chicago haha. After lifting today I had a thought in my head that I didn't just put there I felt like it was a message, the voice said don't take yourself to seriously. I will blog again soon I have more to type but am tired. Night.

park la brea part 2 cont

Been a week or something since my last post.  I have been busy applying for acting gigs on all my sites, through all my applications I got an audition for a student film with the New York Film academy as a character named the ice scream man, it sounded pretty promising havent heard anything back yet.  I also took a shot in the dark and went to an open call for a basketball movie, I didnt get it but the audition was fun, and today I got a audition for a gaming type thing and that was a blast, I had such a fun time with the script and the people behind the camera.  I have been working out at L.A. fitness quite a bit trying to get back into shape, slowly but surely, thinking about getting a lift and some basketball in today.  Been getting paid pretty well commercially, and think I need to find a new job now, my preschool is still staffing me here and there to teach and that is really nice, think I need a night job or something where I can audition during the day or just have flexibility just something cool, chill and low key like that, also maybe look into the entertainment industry jobs as well.

Park La Brea part 2

I wrote a sketch a few days ago.  Still contemplating on what I am going to do with it.  Have new roommates, its been pretty fun.  Got a new membership to L.A. fitness, squated and benched about 175 10 times yesterday pretty decent workout.  Either today or tomorrow I think I will be heading to Runyon Canyon to get some nature workout and enjoy the day and the sunshine.  Next thing of order is to workout back and biceps, will probably get basketball in on one of the days Im not hiking.  We have a pullup bar in our house and I have also been using my bands.  My new roommates and me went grocery shopping about a week ago and have been cooking almost all of our meals at the house.  We are going to go to a free concert tonight I believe and are going to pull the trigger on some incredibly cheap Dodger tickets for tomorrow.  My pre school work wont start up again until about September 10th.  During this lapse of time, Ive been able to workout, work on writing, move into a new place, and just sort of feel good about it.  I know I need to continue to hustle and add up the dollars, with that said I still feel good and will be proactive and make that happen as well I know.  Been submitting for short films and feature films, really anything.  My roommates are great and my new roommate Brandon Hanson has been a great person to talk to, level headed humble, Im glad he is here.  Went to church last sunday, they are having a free meal at there service next week, and yes, that is part of the reason we are going.  Didnt do anything to dramatic to celebrate MLK day, thats a day to reflect on though, important stuff in the civil rights movement.  I type this from the activity center, I have not yet purchased a new computer, I will do that soon.  Have been filming some of my own dead pan humor stuff, I am going to edit it and make a video out of it, I am also going to edit it and put some new clips on my backstage account, because its the type of humor that they are looking for when I am being submitted for these commercial auditions and TV projects, may be a good way to help me hustle myself onto a set.  I have become more interested in short film projects and how they work, I am going to look in to what kick starting a project means, there are people who make short films and from my understanding they submit it and apply for people to donate them money to help make a film.  So just looking into the different ways people are making short films would be a good thing to study.  Also hoping to visit some new open mics I have found and check out what the scene is like.  I saw the guys bike that I wrote about previously, his mo ped, smokes a ciggarrette before he goes home, works a job and goes to class full time, hes from a different country.  Yesterday Was my first day back in the weight room, its been awhile, man, crazy starting all over again.  Just got to stay consistent, alright now Im just ramblin, the dude abides.

Sleepin in my bed

So a few things I have realized about basketball is that, open gym as an adult isn't much different then open gym as a kid.  You still have your ball hogs, you still have people arguing over the score, and you still have that kid who wines until he gets everything he wants and he is never wrong.  I play for the exercise, but its hard not to get competitive sometimes.  Have to remind yourself that its just a game and that's the only reason that you are there.  A theme that has been going through my head is what do I have to lose, I might as well get out there and try things.  I know a lot of comedians work like the club circuits to perfect there craft, they hustle to work a muscle I guess.  It makes a lot of sense, I think sometimes its overthinking about what gym you need to be in that messes you up a little a bit.  The overthinking needs to stop, the editing, the sensoring.  I started to think of everything as an experience, this experience is sometimes what we call the dribble of day, but what if you can take all of these experiences and really make something cool out if it, or talk about something cool by having them.  I have acted in a variety of plays, I am pretty sure comedy is my strength, it may be singing too, solo singing though, maybe even impressionistic thinking not with a quire type singing.  Ill put one of these blogs out there on the webisphere, this was just suppose to be a journal, but sometimes I journal in my blog and don't post them but store them in the unposted section, so here is a freebee more into my brain, but it probably will ready similar and if not even more confusing then my other blogsposts haha.

Eric Kolvek

Just going to do a quick blog because I couldn't sleep if I wanted to for a number of factors, maybe I should pick up a book for a little bit, yop gonna do it. peace!

Basketball

The last two weeks I have jumped into games at pan pacific park.  The type where the guys there say, let me run with you, or I got next. Last week was not a proud showing for me, I think I made 1 out of 2 shots in 2 games and I was basically just trying to get up and down the floor.  This week I played two games again.  we went by 1 and 2's to 15 points.  I went 1 for 2 in a game where I just tried to make it up and down the court, our team lost 15-11.  I debated whether I would play the next game or not, the next game I decided to play because you can't just play one game.  The second game our team won 15-12 and I shot 8 for 8, all layups and hook shots.  I did work and I was unstoppable haha.  I made the game winning shot when I got a rebound dribbled the ball down the court with a guy guarding me and made a left handed hook up shot from about the left wing.  I don't know where that came from but it shows if you work at something you get better, most of the layups I made were against a guy in the post way taller than me.  I was about the 2nd shortest guy on the court.  Just thought Id do a mid day basketball blog, peace!

South Dakota

Alright I feel like I had some good forward moving thoughts today.  Its the story of a kid from a galaxy far away called South Dakota who understood that coffee was one of his basic freedoms.  I did some writing today, I did some running today, it was a good day, did the works, applied for jobs, sent out postcards.  Man I wish I had a car haha, the dude needs a car man.  I even filmed some like thought stuff today which I thought might be a waste of time but after doing it I see that it kind of helps me formulate my ideas.  At the end of the day I had like a 3 hour psychological panic, it was shorter than that but it felt like 3 hours, and it was not a panic, it was just a zone out or something.  Im not sure why, I think its just, idk, I just need to keep moving forward that's all.  Whatever I do moving forward is always good, even go ahead and take risks and fail that's fine too that's fine.  Just not being afraid of anything is the important thing I think.  So that is my goal is that I dare myself to take risks, ask people to do projects, write my own projects, not a bad idea because then you start building yourself a reel, barring you work is good enough for a reel but something must be better than nothing, or at least its worth finding out whether it is or not.  

Another Day

Woke up at 6am today.  Did some morning Yoga.  Cleaned up around the house applied for a few jobs online, got a coffee and breakfast food for the first part of the week.  I ran to the bank, came back, and then took the bus to my audition.  I was pleased with my audition, I felt like I did a good job reacting and doing non verbal things well, the non verbal auditions had been the ones Id been struggling with and this one went really well.  I did my job and I feel good about that.  Went to Amobea records bought a two dollar Steve Martin movie which Im watching right now its actually pretty good.  I picked up postcards I ordered about a week ago from argentum photo lab and also got mailing labels.  Came back to the house did some taebo.  Then I took the bus to the Actors Gang and auditioned for a school actually.  I don't necessarily intend to join the school but it is something I signed up for quite awhile ago and its one of those things were you go because you scheduled it.  You never know who your going to run into and you don't want to be known as the guy who does not show up for stuff when scheduled.  Its was a group workout basically and its like I did taebo at the house and then went and worked out even harder at the studio.  A interesting surprise was that one of our teachers in the studio was Tim Robbins who is a famous actor, he is in Shawshank.  So I had to call my friend Brad because that is one of his favorite actors.  I got a burger from and fri from inn and out.  Today was sort of productive and also not really, but kind of, a strange mixture.  But today felt like a morale win at least.  And yes I mean morale, not moral.  I know a lot more proactive work needs to be done but Im going to be positive about today, its a start.  Alrighty then, that about wraps her all up.
Dude Abides

Writing again

So I actually wrote a pretty substantial blog and then all the sudden the page got deleted.  It happens.  I was writing about ways I need to be more proactive and how I need to pick it up and be hungry again basically, and I also wrote some new things I was looking into like Second City which may be worth looking into.  Im basically trying to stay in the moment and keep a positive outlook on things because that is what Ill need to crawl my way back into a good place in my head and to have good motivational vibes to kind of power me towards achieving my goals and not getting so side tracked with things that are not important.  I think I keep telling myself Im going to do it tomorrow and that attitude doesn't get much done.  What I have here is something that needs to be delt with now, however I gotta do it, do it now.  I don't want to be hard on myself but I want to motivate myself, just try and work hard enough to breath again so I can see the light and live in the moment.  Anyway, I got new headshots and postcards to be sent out, going to be consistent with that and ordered enough to be.  Like when I auditioned for my agent I didn't get in until about the 6th or 7th or 12th time so I know if Im not auditioning and I am just sending them something I am definetly going to have to be persistent for them to call me.  I will also have to be doing something, right now Im taking classes at the Groundlings but I think my whole life has to be less pinpointed and I just have to be proactive in general so when being asked what Im doing there are all sorts of things to explain because im not just trying to be proactive but my life will have become a proactive thing, so there will be no need to try and demonstrate how if it is.  One of the reasons I am writing this post is that I think I need to continue to do things like this, whether it is in my journal or a blog on the internet.  I must take this time to myself and lets this be a part of my proactive journey.  Another side thought is while I wish sometimes I was much further than I am, and I really still do, I realize that you know its just here for the taking as long as your being proactive that's all that matters, and also, Im starting to realize that some people out here have kind of quit on the acting thing.  So when you do things you have to do to pay bills and such don't feel so bad about it not lining up PERFECTLY because your doing it for your goal, so if you can remember that and just stay focused on it, keep at it and you will reach that level of maybe not perfection, but hitting your groove.

First 24 Blog

I wont blog like this everyday.  But I figure it was my first day at a new job, some new stuff has come to light perhaps.  I substitute taught at a preschool today, I will also be doing it tomorrow.  Woke up very early to catch a bus because they wanted me to be there at 8.  I was for sure I wouldn't make it on time just because the nature of my not really hustling in the morning.  I got there at like 7:45 and was one of the first teachers there.  I took the 212 and then got on the 302.  I saw a few homeless people on the way as always.  I saw a sign that said your never to young to dream big.  I saw signs that said Dream in something bigger, or something like that. Well I got interrupted mid blog so Im out of the frame I came in with.
Anyway.  I am remembering that I need to believe in a higher power and have a strong personal relationship with God, community is what its all about but I think I at times in my life I have underestimated the relationship of just 1 on 1 God time has had in my life, so trying to get back on track with that. 
Wow I'm distracted  Here comes the attempt to plow through the blog.  I find myself letting myself get overwhelmed about stuff, and I think I wrote this earlier but that doesn't benefit me, and I had some good thoughts and that helped me realize to just not get overwhelmed, theres no reason to and the stuff that Im worrying about is kind of minimal.  The stuff I should be doing is a different story, Im worrying about stuff that matters but Im giving it too much weight.  Anyway I thought this blog was going to be more enlightening haha. 

To New Times and Experiences

In a really strange way today was one of the best days Ive had in awhile.  Im not sure why, but I think its because my mind was more open and receptive.  Just more than general.  I have been doing meditation techniques, i took today off but I think the work I did the previous days helped my mind stay fresh and connected to being.  This is my goal this year, to stay connected and more open to possibilities, I think the more possibilities and positive attitude you can contain the better.  I think staying open to possibilities can lead to new experiences, which is exactly what we need, its what the human being is made up of, so my goal is to stay open and to continue having new experiences and I wont let any negativity from anyone or myself get in the way of that happening, just have to stay focused and continue to live.  I read something interesting in backstage which said that everyone in this town is pretty much connected to the industry somehow, so thats all the more reason to just do the things you love and continue to meet people and live your life.  Im not perfect, nowone is, I have plenty of things to work on, Im glad that Im out here doing it, living, experiencing life, breaking the mold a bit.  I think setting goals, staying positive, meeting people, seeking, searching living I think thats the good stuff, thats what will make things happen keep things going, keep things enjoyable.  Alrighty then, Ill let you know how that goes later.  Peace, love, light, strength, hustle, all of it.

This picture is of Charlene my relative, my Grandpa Al's first cousin.(I think)

Keep on keepin on

Alright.  Not sure if its a neccessary blog time, but the minds a thinking, need to at least put some things into prospective for myself.  I worked at a La works program tonight where I basically babysat toddlers.  Hung out with Orlando the most, high energy, lots of fun fun kid.  Talked to my gma Judy tonight, walked home and when I got off the phone with her ran into some of the boys from the 11th floor who I have pretty short but fun interactions with out here.  They somehow know I booked something Im not even sure I told them and they were like awesome keep it up man!  Might start working out with Brett, either way I ran today and know that I need to keep on keeping on myself know one will do the work for me.  I also just want to acknowledge I booked a commercial, made some money, dont know how much more money I'll make or how it works reallly.  But, whether it was the best expereience or not, I did it!  I booked something, finally, did it.  Now its over, the reality is that I did it, and need to keep it going and find more great jobs. Gotta keep on keepin on no matter how hard it is, wake up every morning and do it.  Stay happy know you can do it, and trust yourself. You can do it, you can do it, you can do it.
Night Blog

Persistance

Tonight I was reading an article in the backstage acting trades to hopefully learn more about the industry.  I read this article that had a long list of tools or advice to help an actor and his or her career.  Lots of times when I read this articles it is a lot to stomach and Im not always sure I get much out of it, but on this point list a specific word, and topic was covered that help me put all the advice into perspective so I could take something away from it.  It was persistance, you have to be persistant is basically what its saying, not give up, do plays, audition, perform, continue putting yourself out there.  One of the reason this rings true to me is because when I met my agent for the first time he came out in the hallway and got me at a open call.  He commented on my look, asked me what I liked to do, we had a conversation, I really didnt have that much to say, I was just kind of excited that I had some how found myself sitting in his office, a little dumbfounded, that was probably the time I should have been alert and ready for conversation, haha anyway he had a lot to say and it was fine.  He let me know that the reason he brought me in his office, and wanted to take me on as a client was because he knew I was serious because I kept coming back, I was persistant.  Now, let me add here, I was living very intentionally but really had no idea what I was doing as far as pursuing the agent, but I never quit, and I landed an agent.  I think that my career will be defined by things like this, but the agent was just 1 wrung, even though I was a little high when I left that office knowing that I must have done something right some how, I thought I must have a little bit of the right idea on how to do this.  I have to approach my whole career like this, it cant be just to land the agent but it has to be to market myself, to book the next job, to find creative and meaningful work, to pay the bills, to network, to stay positive, to work out.  Now that is a long list of things after a simple idea so I will also quote Al Pacino, he the name of the game is you want to find work that is acting, the name of the game is to have a script a performance and an audience.  You need those things and you have to work hard but believe one thing will lead to the next.  You have to open yourself up in performance so its about the unknown and you dont really know how your going to appoach it at all.  So I have tried a few things out here and read a lot on acting, so i have my experience and my research.  But what rings with me is the word persistance, thats one of the only words that makes sense to me, all I know that it means not giving up, not getting discouraged.  I have been auditioning a lot commercially lately, an open all for a movie and thats about it.  I need to be an active participant in my career.  I have to overcome that mindset that says you will go here and get discovered and become famous, but rather think you will go here and do the work you came to do, the work you love, and yes have high hopes, hope something great comes of it, but love what your doing while your doing it and things will unfold itself.  I will not give up, I have a lot to give, and I must keep giving it.

Hey Guys!

Today I woke up and filmed myself doing a scene for an audition.  Then I cleaned my room with the time I had left and shortly after headed to an actual face to face audition. Killed it.  Did a little Taebo today, let a random person use my phone for the first time, usually avoid these things, hopefully good karmas on the way.  Tonight I have been working more and more on my audition scenes but it gets to a point where the lighting is bad enough were it is really not worth it, so tomorrow i will continue between certain hours as the deadline for that audition is near us.  Any how, this 2013 I have swam at the beach, had many auditions, been working out...and eating.  I saw zero dark thirty which was just an awesome movie.  Meeting some new people in my park la brea area that seem pretty cool.  Still live with a bunch of dudes, that certainly is what it is haha.  Tommorrow I have an audition early in North Hollywood so will have to get a good head start, I am thining granola bar, water, or some juice for energy, heck maybe a few crunches :).  Love coffee but realizing it makes me a little shaky in performance.  Im sure I will see, run into, and perhaps meet some interesting characters on the way, o L.A. there is no place quite like you.  Hoping to get more out there this month, feel good about some of the monolgues Im working on.  Hope grandpa Don and everyone back home is doing great.  I am doing well, staying positive, and not giving up on my dreams! 

As the dream continues

I have had a few not so productive days.  I had an audition yesterday.  And basically the whole group cleaned house over the weekend.  My working out has slow down.  But I realize something.  I was feeling and looking better from my better eating and working out.  I think it just needs to be more in moderation.  Your not going to see the results over night, so with persistancy I know that i will be just fine.  Ive been looking into some local theaters looking to find a paying play.  I realized that there are a lot more theaters then the one that I went to originally that actually will pay for performance, which in my mind makes sense.  You got to be performning, and you cant just pay to perform.  Back to my last blog, its a marathon not a sprint.  I am starting to believe that is really true.  Everyone is allowed to be frustrated, but if your not happy where you are because you didnt get it over night, thats just not a very good excuse.  You have to find a way to be content with where your at and working extremley hard towards the future by being in the present and now.  There was a valentines day back in 2008 when I went ahead and saw the first college play production at USF since I started school there, when I saw it, I knew I had to try it, be a part of it, at least check it out, and nothing was going to stop me.  I think that whether it is seeing some cheap theater somewhere or something I might need to check out some venues and see which one calls my name and pursue.  I know its not film and I know you cant make a reel out of theater, but people can watch theater, and a lot of times in theater you get to meet people after the show.  I think it is worth a shot to see if the theaters worth a darn.  Amongst actor friends I have realized that one thing we talk about is our agents and how much they are sending us out.  You can be mad, thankful, greatful, upset, not happy, whatever it is you feel based on where there sending you.  But if thats your only basis for how you feel about how your doing and the direction your heading the industry I think you do yourself a diservice, you need to create your own work, and you gotta have thick skin.  Jon Stewart said something on the daily show that was hilarious, "If at first you dont succeed, F&#$ it!  Instead of thinking of inspirational quotes I have been drawing on that, I have a lot of things to figure out for myself right, but for me, that quote basically reminds me that if your not where you want to be yet after a short period of time, it is a huge diservice to yourself to just give up, if its your dream you gotta make it happen.  Im ok that everything didnt fall into place right away as far as the classes and everything I took.  If it was that easy, what would be the point.  Anything worth doing is hard.  Back to theater, it is my roots, I dont really think its a bad idea to check out the scene, use what you know to open up new avenues.

Marathons

I have never ran a marathon.  An actor friend of mine Brett Zimmerman reminded me something that has been said to me twice in the last two days, its not a sprint, its a marathon.  He really said some good stuff so Ill just say it all, he said "It's important to have patience, discipline, composure, and the will not to get discouraged while accomplishing the goals we have set out to achieve!"  Thats one of the best things I've heard in a long time.  I think sometimes I tend to sprint and not let up, that doesn't work to well in a marathon.  Everything he said is important but I think probably the most important part is to not get discouraged, I have really had a tough time with that one.  Also Im realizing that I may need to set some goals, I dont feel like I dont have any its just sometimes I dont know if Im really working towards them. I have been working out a bit lately.  Yesterday I did a free simulation biking class for 60 minutes.  I took the toughest class they had an the instructor said she couldnt believe how well I did for the first time.  I was kind of shocked too.  I have been doing a mix of advanced and begginners taebo as well, and I still run but not as far.  Also have been doing more abbs.  Again with that unfortunatley I cannot cut off my belly in one day.  It will take awhile and I shouldnt over do it.  I have been eating fruit and more protein.  And trying to make sure I eat something in the morning.  Today I applied for entry level positions at NBC universal and Edge works casting.  I think that if I can get busier I will feel better about myself.  I know when I worked at a summer camp once I didnt love the job, it was ok, not the worse.  But I found myself in decent shape without even really trying, I didnt realize how much having a job kept me active.  It sort of stinks that I havent found anyway to work in an artistic way at least part time or something but Im hopeful that something will show up. 

Hold on

I realize that I need to hold on.  Not sure what this means quite yet.  Back in the day I wrote my own version of a song called hold on by Tom Waits with lyrics about a man named Gutzom Borglum(didnt look up how to spell it) who built Mount Rushmore and Crazy horse.  I feel like Tom Waits is one of my biggest inspirations of someone that I dont actually know.  I have been looking at paintings from one of my friends at school and am inspired by the work he is doing as well. I am also very inspired by my uncle Mike.  I am also very lucky and have romodels in my life that care about me and inspire me as well.

Ok, so I started writing this last night and my computer turned off and I felt like, hmmm.  Im going to write instead.  So I started writing on paper and it was kind of liberating because I didnt have to edit myself at all, I tend to explain things out on my blogs.  So basically I just wrote down exactly what I wanted to got to the point basically.  In the middle of writing I realized some of it might be funny.  So it might be useful for material.  Cuz a lot of times when I blog here i basically in a nice way right about how I want to improve, what im doing and frustrations.  So whether its a way to explore stand up material, web series stuff or whatever, who knows, not me, cool stuff.  Anyway not really sure where this is blog is going, was thinking it was a gut check time blog.  I need to get my shit together, haha.  Well anyway I already said this but I worked on a new shows set last week.  I got turned into like a small character, no lines, but they actually have me receiving a line from a character and reacting which is pretty radomly cool I guess, but means nothing, haha. Psshh I dont really have much else to say.  My standard saying I applied for a few jobs and everything else all applies to the standard blog talk.  While it is all true.  But anyway I didnt really know where I was going with this blog or how it would continue.  But bascially its really simple, I just need to find a way to make it work, thats it.  I mean come on man, think outside the box.  Be Eric you jerkface.  Ok I dont like negative talk to self, but its kind of true, like, do it, idk.  Its not impossible you gotta keep the hope alive.  It might take awhile to get like your bearings wrapped around routine or what not but you gotta stay proactive even if its not possible to stay positive, maybe thatll lead to positive.  I think not having a car, is a pretty big setback.  But what you gonna do, its gone. Alright out be back soon.

All you have to do is keep trying

I listened to this video by an acting teacher named Tony Meindl out here.  He talked about reaching your plateu and then having a pop.  He was talking about a learning curve and how it is essential to the process.  He said sometimes a plateu can last a long ass time.  He talked about being confused, or a student being confused.  Then he asked that student how is that helping you, being confused.  And the student realized that being confused was not serving him.  So this sort of makes sense to me, why would you claim to be confused if you dont have to.  That sort of just puts you in a haze that you dont have to be in.  You dont have to get stuck in a haze, that is a choice, because there are plateus and there are learning curves and all that stuff is essential to the process.  Its not about who is making it and who is not.  Off to the next thing.  He also talked about living in the past and living in the future.  Ill make this simple, basically he said the cliche thing that you need to live in the now.  I get that too.  You cant wait and be anxious about your future and you cant dwell on your past.  Neither of those things favor you.  So anyway Im going to be on a set tomorrow and make a little bit of money and then get back to the grind.  There is no need to really worry about anything.  Man this was just a video night for me.  I have had some thoughts about SNL lately because why not.  Something funny happened I watched SNL for the first time in a couple weeks, and it brought back memories of when some of my college friends came out and visited last year.  They mentioned to me that they thought that I would be great on SNL, a few people have told me that over the course of my life.  Anyway I got a text from one of those guys at 5 in the morning the next day which said. "Hey Eric, just walked by the SNL studio last night and thought of you, hope all is well."  Im not saying thats a sign.  But I think these things happen because we are all suppose to allow ourselves to believe in things, and allow ourselves to lift on onto a higher level, into the now I guess.  So I guess what I am thinkinng and hopefully have learned is you dont have to wait for anyone to give you permission to do what you want to do.  That means no waiting for an agent, no waiting for a manager, no waiting for anyone.  Continue swimming, work your way up that learning curve, be dedicated to your craft, and live in the present moment.  I might keep blogging on this blog, but I will come back to this blog once I feel like I have committed more fully to my craft.  Anyway that video I watched on a girl in Chicago that got to audition twice for SNL was cool.  She lives in Chicago and said its less about the biz or industry then it is in L.A.  So in Chicago, what she did, was work a day job, and go to classes and perform improv at night until she received a paying improv job.  This is kind of just yammer, but when I started improv out here I kind of sensed that I was going the Chicago route if there is such a thing, I was kind of approaching L.A. like it was Chicago, that might make not sense, and it actually might make no sense, but thats kind of how I felt.  I felt like I was in Chicago, haha.  I think out here you do have to be more in touch with the actual business and industry aspects, but I will find that out as I go, that is my take on it for now.  I recently auditioned for the movie How to Catch a Monster via Video audition.  I havent heard anything back and I probably should just let it go.  But I am considering trying to film myself one more time doing something more raw and real and hopefully interesting before the deadline.  I guess I realize that the actors that have made it have kind of done whatever it takes to get there.  Which means paying the bills, being dedicated to your craft, and not waiting for things to come.  They lived in the now, they didnt worry about where things were going to come from and I think thats a incredibly challengeing thing to do.  But it is a incredibly challenging field so it makes sense that it would be like that.  Oh man, this has been a pretty long blog haha, talk soon.

Always after my Lucky Charms

Alright, I am going to blog.  In part that I am too lazy to write stuff down, alas, isnt that while we all really use the computer.  Alright this goes back to classic Eric blog which will be listings of random thoughts and activities.  This week I had two auditions, one for a luckys charm commercial, the other for insurance.  Last week I had three auditions for, boost mobile, orangina and to be a cannon boy.  Anyway, I had like 5 or 6 auditions in the last two weeks which is actually a pretty decent amount.  The quality of some of the auditions is questionable, but they do all pay pretty good.  I have been thinking about heading down to the beach to swim possibly every once in awhile, because I know a super easy route and the only a one bus trip there and back. Also swimming would be a good workout and a decent skill to have.  Of course I would not venture out like Phelps Im no pro, it would be more about how long i swam as oppossed to how far i got.  Also doing pushups and running on the beach is good exercise.   Itd be like a 30-45 minute trip based on the traffic.  Im going to give it a shot because sometimes I look at how I spend my day and, there are days were I dont get a workout in and I think this will be an easier way to do it, something fun and different, worth a shot.  I also found my sbv letter, which is a copy i sent out to an agency for representation.  I think maybe I should try that again.  But anyway. Yup been auditioning, thats all thats really happenin right now.  I hope to keep my up with this blog a little bit better and keep up to date on developments. 

Short Blog

Auditioned today.  For a cell phone commercial.  I think it went alright, I think I could have let my personality shine through a little more but thats ok, I think there are a lot of things to think about at an audition but I know see that it obviously important to read the breakdown description where theyll say things like play up your personality or whatever instead of thinking a little to much about everything.  Do your homework kind of have the work done and ready and just let it go once your in the room.  Alright, done, my lil bro told me hes got a new workout plan going, sounds pretty cool.  Got to get my own little system and start making some new plans of my own.

The Dude and Zen

So as I was walking home from the book store I had formulated in my mind what I was going to blog about.  But I will just go off the cuff because I dont really remember what I was thinking about.  Started reading this book called The Dude and Zen.  One thing that resonated with me is that he talked about rowing down the stream.  He says as he rows down the stream of life he is always getting new paddles and comrades to take down the adventure with him.  I realized lately that I may have been holding on a little to closely to my old oars and mates.  I have been blessed throughout my life to have such good paddles and comrades through my travels.  Ive had many gurus, loved ones, friends, intellectuals.
Now I believe it is time to simply continue that journey.  Live with new gurus, loved ones, friends, and some things will remain the same but they journey that I have loved so much has been ever changing.  It is as my grandma Judy says, continuing. Another thing in the book that resonated with me was is they talked about searching and finding an end point.  At times in life we find things that we believe will bring us to an end point.  We try them out and find ourselves saying, o no this isnt quite right, this wasnt exactly what I was looking for, so we jump ship and think that if we just went the wrong way.  If we would have went over here instead of there we would have made the correct decision.  But once we go over there we think we have defeated whatever was holding us back, but after a short time find out, o darn, this doesnt work either.  The thing about this is that we thought that this venturing into the world would bring us to our endpoint.  Now and end can be success, fame, making money,getting married, anything. But the truth is, is that our endpoint is exactly where we are in our lives right now.  However you feel right now, whether it be happiness or gloom, or whatever your goals are, whatever your reaching for is right in front of you.  The end is now, and always has been and will continue to be.
I think if you can learn to laugh at yourself, learn to continue on in good faith that good things will happen, then that is where the happening begins.  None of this can replace the hard work involved to get where you want to be.  But whatever it is your doing you have to relish in it, you have to find what it is you are, and you have to throw perfection to the wayside. You know, I dont really know what people think of me.  But what I have gathered from loved ones and myself, I believe myself to be a perfectionist and over ambitious.  These are only two of many things that I am.  But really I am simply just Eric.  It really doesnt matter what else I am, if I can learn to live within the Eric I am, in the here, present and now, then that matters.  And its important that whatever I find that to be, that it continues to deepen.  So instead of having to be perfect, I have to continue, I have to find the things that are in front of me.  It is my turn to bowl.  Just throw the ball.

2013

Well its been a month since the last blog...Im keeping the distractions to a minimum which is why this blog is coming so early, the day feels like it is going a heck of a lot slower.  I need to be more proactive.  I know that.  I dont know, always feeling like you dont have a clue what your doing is frustrating but Ive got find a way to figure it out I guess.  I did book a national commercial, and thats nice for now.  I know my family and friends all got my back want to see me succeed, be happy basically.  I guess its one of those things were maybe I do need to get into class again.  I have been applying for jobs on craigslist today.  Man thats the most annoying thing is just finding a freakin job, I know I cant just sit around I need to be more busy.  Thats what Caroline said when I visted Charlene and Larry.  She found a job right off craigslist that fit her and I have been trying to too.  Maybe Im just off on what I actually want.  Im not sure if I like working with kids or not anymore, Ive been told Im good with them, but I dont know how true that really is.  Hmmm.  Fake it till you make it thats what Ive got to do.  I know I dont want to work in the food industry, I dont want to paint, dont want to be a security guard.  Maybe I can do something where I teach kids drama part time or something idk.  But I certainly have wasted a whole lot of time interviewing and applying for things Im not interested.  Its awful hard to fake enthusiasm, and its not like I dont try, I try my hardest.  I need to put myself out there again, and as I type I wish that I feel like i knew how.  I feel like if i knew what to do, I would just go do it.  But, it cant be that easy I guess.  Lifes not that bad it could be worse.  Eh, dont really know where Im going with this blog.  Its just tough I guess, and I wish I could think of a better plan.  Its bound to be tough when your always looking for work, dont like your roommates and dont know a lot of people.  No real connections.  Dont really talk to any of my old friends anymore, i hope things change sooner than later and I think they will.