All you have to do is keep trying

I listened to this video by an acting teacher named Tony Meindl out here.  He talked about reaching your plateu and then having a pop.  He was talking about a learning curve and how it is essential to the process.  He said sometimes a plateu can last a long ass time.  He talked about being confused, or a student being confused.  Then he asked that student how is that helping you, being confused.  And the student realized that being confused was not serving him.  So this sort of makes sense to me, why would you claim to be confused if you dont have to.  That sort of just puts you in a haze that you dont have to be in.  You dont have to get stuck in a haze, that is a choice, because there are plateus and there are learning curves and all that stuff is essential to the process.  Its not about who is making it and who is not.  Off to the next thing.  He also talked about living in the past and living in the future.  Ill make this simple, basically he said the cliche thing that you need to live in the now.  I get that too.  You cant wait and be anxious about your future and you cant dwell on your past.  Neither of those things favor you.  So anyway Im going to be on a set tomorrow and make a little bit of money and then get back to the grind.  There is no need to really worry about anything.  Man this was just a video night for me.  I have had some thoughts about SNL lately because why not.  Something funny happened I watched SNL for the first time in a couple weeks, and it brought back memories of when some of my college friends came out and visited last year.  They mentioned to me that they thought that I would be great on SNL, a few people have told me that over the course of my life.  Anyway I got a text from one of those guys at 5 in the morning the next day which said. "Hey Eric, just walked by the SNL studio last night and thought of you, hope all is well."  Im not saying thats a sign.  But I think these things happen because we are all suppose to allow ourselves to believe in things, and allow ourselves to lift on onto a higher level, into the now I guess.  So I guess what I am thinkinng and hopefully have learned is you dont have to wait for anyone to give you permission to do what you want to do.  That means no waiting for an agent, no waiting for a manager, no waiting for anyone.  Continue swimming, work your way up that learning curve, be dedicated to your craft, and live in the present moment.  I might keep blogging on this blog, but I will come back to this blog once I feel like I have committed more fully to my craft.  Anyway that video I watched on a girl in Chicago that got to audition twice for SNL was cool.  She lives in Chicago and said its less about the biz or industry then it is in L.A.  So in Chicago, what she did, was work a day job, and go to classes and perform improv at night until she received a paying improv job.  This is kind of just yammer, but when I started improv out here I kind of sensed that I was going the Chicago route if there is such a thing, I was kind of approaching L.A. like it was Chicago, that might make not sense, and it actually might make no sense, but thats kind of how I felt.  I felt like I was in Chicago, haha.  I think out here you do have to be more in touch with the actual business and industry aspects, but I will find that out as I go, that is my take on it for now.  I recently auditioned for the movie How to Catch a Monster via Video audition.  I havent heard anything back and I probably should just let it go.  But I am considering trying to film myself one more time doing something more raw and real and hopefully interesting before the deadline.  I guess I realize that the actors that have made it have kind of done whatever it takes to get there.  Which means paying the bills, being dedicated to your craft, and not waiting for things to come.  They lived in the now, they didnt worry about where things were going to come from and I think thats a incredibly challengeing thing to do.  But it is a incredibly challenging field so it makes sense that it would be like that.  Oh man, this has been a pretty long blog haha, talk soon.

Always after my Lucky Charms

Alright, I am going to blog.  In part that I am too lazy to write stuff down, alas, isnt that while we all really use the computer.  Alright this goes back to classic Eric blog which will be listings of random thoughts and activities.  This week I had two auditions, one for a luckys charm commercial, the other for insurance.  Last week I had three auditions for, boost mobile, orangina and to be a cannon boy.  Anyway, I had like 5 or 6 auditions in the last two weeks which is actually a pretty decent amount.  The quality of some of the auditions is questionable, but they do all pay pretty good.  I have been thinking about heading down to the beach to swim possibly every once in awhile, because I know a super easy route and the only a one bus trip there and back. Also swimming would be a good workout and a decent skill to have.  Of course I would not venture out like Phelps Im no pro, it would be more about how long i swam as oppossed to how far i got.  Also doing pushups and running on the beach is good exercise.   Itd be like a 30-45 minute trip based on the traffic.  Im going to give it a shot because sometimes I look at how I spend my day and, there are days were I dont get a workout in and I think this will be an easier way to do it, something fun and different, worth a shot.  I also found my sbv letter, which is a copy i sent out to an agency for representation.  I think maybe I should try that again.  But anyway. Yup been auditioning, thats all thats really happenin right now.  I hope to keep my up with this blog a little bit better and keep up to date on developments. 

Short Blog

Auditioned today.  For a cell phone commercial.  I think it went alright, I think I could have let my personality shine through a little more but thats ok, I think there are a lot of things to think about at an audition but I know see that it obviously important to read the breakdown description where theyll say things like play up your personality or whatever instead of thinking a little to much about everything.  Do your homework kind of have the work done and ready and just let it go once your in the room.  Alright, done, my lil bro told me hes got a new workout plan going, sounds pretty cool.  Got to get my own little system and start making some new plans of my own.

The Dude and Zen

So as I was walking home from the book store I had formulated in my mind what I was going to blog about.  But I will just go off the cuff because I dont really remember what I was thinking about.  Started reading this book called The Dude and Zen.  One thing that resonated with me is that he talked about rowing down the stream.  He says as he rows down the stream of life he is always getting new paddles and comrades to take down the adventure with him.  I realized lately that I may have been holding on a little to closely to my old oars and mates.  I have been blessed throughout my life to have such good paddles and comrades through my travels.  Ive had many gurus, loved ones, friends, intellectuals.
Now I believe it is time to simply continue that journey.  Live with new gurus, loved ones, friends, and some things will remain the same but they journey that I have loved so much has been ever changing.  It is as my grandma Judy says, continuing. Another thing in the book that resonated with me was is they talked about searching and finding an end point.  At times in life we find things that we believe will bring us to an end point.  We try them out and find ourselves saying, o no this isnt quite right, this wasnt exactly what I was looking for, so we jump ship and think that if we just went the wrong way.  If we would have went over here instead of there we would have made the correct decision.  But once we go over there we think we have defeated whatever was holding us back, but after a short time find out, o darn, this doesnt work either.  The thing about this is that we thought that this venturing into the world would bring us to our endpoint.  Now and end can be success, fame, making money,getting married, anything. But the truth is, is that our endpoint is exactly where we are in our lives right now.  However you feel right now, whether it be happiness or gloom, or whatever your goals are, whatever your reaching for is right in front of you.  The end is now, and always has been and will continue to be.
I think if you can learn to laugh at yourself, learn to continue on in good faith that good things will happen, then that is where the happening begins.  None of this can replace the hard work involved to get where you want to be.  But whatever it is your doing you have to relish in it, you have to find what it is you are, and you have to throw perfection to the wayside. You know, I dont really know what people think of me.  But what I have gathered from loved ones and myself, I believe myself to be a perfectionist and over ambitious.  These are only two of many things that I am.  But really I am simply just Eric.  It really doesnt matter what else I am, if I can learn to live within the Eric I am, in the here, present and now, then that matters.  And its important that whatever I find that to be, that it continues to deepen.  So instead of having to be perfect, I have to continue, I have to find the things that are in front of me.  It is my turn to bowl.  Just throw the ball.

2013

Well its been a month since the last blog...Im keeping the distractions to a minimum which is why this blog is coming so early, the day feels like it is going a heck of a lot slower.  I need to be more proactive.  I know that.  I dont know, always feeling like you dont have a clue what your doing is frustrating but Ive got find a way to figure it out I guess.  I did book a national commercial, and thats nice for now.  I know my family and friends all got my back want to see me succeed, be happy basically.  I guess its one of those things were maybe I do need to get into class again.  I have been applying for jobs on craigslist today.  Man thats the most annoying thing is just finding a freakin job, I know I cant just sit around I need to be more busy.  Thats what Caroline said when I visted Charlene and Larry.  She found a job right off craigslist that fit her and I have been trying to too.  Maybe Im just off on what I actually want.  Im not sure if I like working with kids or not anymore, Ive been told Im good with them, but I dont know how true that really is.  Hmmm.  Fake it till you make it thats what Ive got to do.  I know I dont want to work in the food industry, I dont want to paint, dont want to be a security guard.  Maybe I can do something where I teach kids drama part time or something idk.  But I certainly have wasted a whole lot of time interviewing and applying for things Im not interested.  Its awful hard to fake enthusiasm, and its not like I dont try, I try my hardest.  I need to put myself out there again, and as I type I wish that I feel like i knew how.  I feel like if i knew what to do, I would just go do it.  But, it cant be that easy I guess.  Lifes not that bad it could be worse.  Eh, dont really know where Im going with this blog.  Its just tough I guess, and I wish I could think of a better plan.  Its bound to be tough when your always looking for work, dont like your roommates and dont know a lot of people.  No real connections.  Dont really talk to any of my old friends anymore, i hope things change sooner than later and I think they will.