How to Catch A Dream

Well today I found a camera and computer that I can edit and post my audition for how to catch a monster.  I have written a scene that could potentially be part of my second take.  I was pretty worried about what I was going to write and then I got an idea at like 2a.m.  I couldnt sleep anyway, so I just got up and wrote it.  I may tweak it still,am not completley married to it, but I think it will be more about how emotionally invested I can get into the scene, as long as the scene is original.  Things I need to do, find a way to support myself, workout, send out stuf, and write.  Do The Work. Realize there is nobody rooting against you.  It is really there for the taking.  How bad do you want it and how hard are you willing to work for it.

Blue Valentines

Tonight I have filled out a couple applications and sent resumes to jobs on craigslist.  Hit up Counter Burger, Labor ready, and a few others.  I did the abb ripper tonight off of P-90x.  Today got started way to late, but I did scrunch and it get a few things done at its closing, work happened, sort of Id like to improve what it is Im calling work and what constitutes work.  I dont want to talk about what I need to do to much, but tyding up the resume and writing the cover letter need to happen for sending out hard copys.  I sort of got distracted from that, but not by dumb stuff, I have been doing some reading and studying lately and looking more into open calls.  While sending out my stuff is probably a really good idea and I wont second guess it, actually searching and auditioning for things that you can online or in person by just showing up needs to be taken advantage of to(open calls), and it is usually for free if you find it.  I think sending the submissions out is a good idea too, for as many regular jobs Im applying for, I ought to be getting my resume and face in the door of agents and casting directors too.  There are a few things I didnt do tonight, I didnt watch tv or check on fantasy football.  Those are small things and having focus comes with more than just avoiding that, but by limiting my distractions I hope to get much more done.  Focus is needed now, to press on, and to bounce back from things.  Im out of things to say because Im trying to practice doing over planning.  Have a good night everybody, and may persistance, hope, and strength guide the way.
-Blue Valentines

Old School to New

Theres this guy, he smokes a ciggarrette and stands next to his bike every day before he drives home to silver lake. I cant remember his name, I want to say its Dave, but its probably not. Tonight was the third run of our play angels academy. We only had two people in the audience so needless to say that was kind of dissapointing. Ive realized that I have a lot to work on as far as being a team player, smaller roles have always been a challenge for me. Ive done quite a bit of extra work lately, well at least I do get booked on most of the days that I leave available. Tomorrow I start my improv comedy class with Taylor. I think this will be a good way to practice my skills as an actor, and learn how to do long form improv. I have three soccer classes on saturday. Id like to get to know this city better. One of my castmates is in the gayest christmas pagent ever and I think that its awesome. Emily is in a burlesque show at the house of blues next tuesday and I plan on attending that.
I wrote that on 11/1/11.  I dont really remember why I didnt post it this.

I ran into the guy that rides the bike and smokes ciggarrette again.  He is sort of my Max Fisher off of Rushmore.  I hardly know anything about this guy, but when you see him like when Bill Murray saw Max Fisher and says, "Whats the secret Max." He is now looking into getting rid of his bike for safety issues and transferring to a car.  He had some good things to say.  He said that lots of people out here are working odd jobs to make it, a good percent of the population.  And those that are actors hopefully can find some joy in their acting work to keep them going even with all that.  He said a large majority of people have to go home and come back, and theres also a big group of people that are able to just stay out here in the biz.  Now this dude is an immigrant who rides a bike works a full time job and is going to school, he is not an expert in acting or the biz but I value his insight.  He said you have to keep trying, that it is very competitive and it could take 10-15 years to make it, or before you are actually known.  I thought about what he said.  The one thing that Im not so sure I have found trying to work in the business is joy.  But I also feel that all my eggs have been in one basket, and think once I try to contact some new people that might change a little, so i have not lost hope on that.  I dont know what else.  Just glad I ran into the dude.  I ordered some new headshots today that I am going to send to agents and casting directors that I have not contacted before.  Hitting the cd of superbad, knocked up, always sunny in philidelphia, glee, few other shows and  then just some agents that I have seen on the boards at auditions.  I think seeking new representation and hopefully landing my own meeting with some casting directors without the middle man is a good step.  The only thing Im confident on in my mailings is that I will be hitting up some people that may want my type, and it is a type in films or shows that I can play.  Other than that I dont know much, except that by not putting all my eggs in one basket it will increase my chances of getting auditions that fit my type.  The ones I am getting right now just arent the right roles, but thats ok, its why Im seeking elsewhere.

No Name

This is an impulsive blog so I'll make it short and sweet.  Something happened tonight that Im not proud of, (nothing to be concerned about) I wont mention what it was because Im tired of giving a name to idotic things Ive done.  I dont know where this post is going.  Too many people really want there dreams to come true, either do that for yourself or get out of the way.

Now or Never

I start UCB classes.  I havent been doing enough, my new motto has to be now or never.  Im as ready as Ill ever be.  Have to job hunt, find new source to make money, trying to rid of what no longer serves me. Nigh blog.

Last Leaf

Well.  Im not in a particular blogging mood.  But I do feel that at some point and time, I should revisit the month of september and whats happened in october so far.  You know I feel like I havent moved anywhere.  But lets look at what happened.  I went to at least 5 auditions this month one of them being a callback.  I have worked 4 or 5 extra jobs after that, i didnt have availability with all the auditions going on until about the 15th so thats not too bad, and two of them just gave me back the rent I paid today.  Alright, Id be lieing if I say my pursuits havent had there fair share of negativity.  But in a more positive light, I am letting some of the stuff thats not good about my current situation and L.A. get to me, but there is some beauty to that.  The beauty is, is that there are people in my position who would be content, and would not even be aware enough to know that there pursuits are not enough, or that there is tons of work to be done, the journey has really only just begun, and I would say Ive had a stroke or two, or probably more than Im aware of or being thankful for, but I am at the begginning, the very begginning of my journey out here.  Now I have joined a gym for two months.  Heres the truth, I dont like it, but i was getting a little chubby, so I am forcing myself to work out making it to the gym 5 or 6 times so far.  Unfortunatley its not helping my energy like I thought it would.  I will stick it out make the membership worth it, but am certain that my life has just surpassed the gym life, I felt it along time ago and just need to make it a point to find ways to stay in shape.  You know, this is the hardest pursuit Ive ever chased, but Im here because I know that the struggle is worth it, and its a blessing that I get to have it, not everyone gets to do this.  So I need to turn it around, learn how to appreciate it more, and get to work so I can rise to my potential.  Im not waking up with the same joy I used to wake up with.  The morning hours start to seem to hang longer and my anticipation has been shriveling up.  I just dont want to miss my moment, and there is a still a chance to turn it around.  Like I said, Ive done more than I realized I had over the last month and need to give myself a little more credit, but Ive hit a dry spell where it feels like any plan would be better than no plan.  I really am fried, thats just what it is, I dont remember the last time i was this fried, but, haha, who sits around and trys to relish on times like that.  Just got to find a way to get out there, and it will all be worth it.  I know, takes a step at a time.
Night Blog   

Audition callback

Did my callback this morning, felt it went well, the guy was laughing a lot and it seemed genuine, ive been in some rooms where im like,  yeah they just do that for everyone but this was fun and i did a good job.  After that, man the day just seemed incredibly long haha, nothing new.  Probably not the best way too spend my time but after my audition i checked out the beverly hills area today a little bit, i havent walked around there since ive lived here, so i went and saw all the little places I wanted to see and took some pictures.  Its a really chill area, man if you had like a crazy week and were really busy and wiped and actually needed a break unlike me who is kind of dazed and confused trying to find productive steps to take and ways to stay busy, that would be a great place to relax i think.  I dont know much about the hills and im sure its not perfect, but there are definetly some sweet spots to just chill it looks like.  After that i went on probably a fifteen-thirty minute bike ride.  I made two very small purchases today but ate all my food primarily in the house.  I caught a little bit of seinfeld debated whether i was going to check out some improv at UCB and decided against, idk, get tired of going to all these places just me and idk, thats all i guess.  Well i stayed home and I didnt use the computer but i wrote in one of my notebooks kind of story notes for hopefully a short story, its about a drifting man which i didnt base on my current exploits, but kind of, it is certainly a part of me, while ive always had drive and direction, there has always been a wandering around, seeing what the hells going on with eric haha.  Im thinking about diving into my film making book.  Ive also been doing research online about auditing classes, improv classes, the industry and what not.  Well something I can think about from that is perhaps i should audit a class, just to see what scene study is like, and maybe thats a venue that its actually possible to network at.  Before I forget, i think it is my cousin Calebs birthday on thursday, trying to think of something to do for him or get him.  I know he likes cars, and if hes like his dad which i think he is, he likes comic books and reading.  Well, I am just kind of exhausted, im not sure exactly why, i think its just because i dont feel like i have any real direction right now, been like this for awhile, its tough, but hopefully i can snap out of it.  I could be wrong but i feel like it would be a really good thing to make a friend out here, have a wing man or something.  I mean I know its all got to be me, but, dam, were not in kansas anymore.

Eric     

Acting 101

I have been tentative about blogging.  But wont go in to detail. Straight to the point. I have been doing extra work and figuring stuff out with my agent, that is more than some people tend to do, it is still very bare minimum.  I dont want to live a life of bare minimum, thats not who i am, thats not who i have ever been, go big or go home has to be the tale for me, its the only thing that gets me excited and going.  No more excuses, there are too many actors out here trying to do exactly the same thing that I am doing, some struggling more, some less, who cares.  Now I just need to seek or figure out, although i dont think figuring out is neccessarily the best strategy, I am not a psychic and there is really no idea to know exactly what works, but you can put your best attempt out there, go with your gut, and eventually get to that point where, ya, maybe you do have it figured out and know whats best for you, my goal is to get to this point.  Whether this means getting a better job, sticking with the same job, marketing myself more as an actor, doing stand up, improv, or whatever really, sag contract ects i believe really has to be a journey of trial and error.  I have an audition on tuesday, so what I need to do is go in there and absolutley kill it, know what i am doing as far as sides, get in there and let loose in front of the camera, do my best, go home, look forward to more opportunities to perform.  Stay proactive, stay attentive to whats going on around me, go for it, go for it, and go for it some more.  I had a conversation with my uncle Mike tonight, it was literally just talking to my Uncle Mike about WWE seeing whats up, catching up.  I really want to strive to be my own boss/entrepenuer.  Have a standard, set goals, get in touch with my spirituality and make some serious shit happen, or let it happen, being prepared.  There are just too many ways to be a proactive actor, a successful actor, there is no excuse for not getting the job done.  I have to have a plan, i have to attack that plan.  If i wanted to be comfortable, i would have just stayed at home, i didnt want that, and thats why i didnt do that.  I chose to come out here, i chose to do it, its a new season, and its game time, so it is absolutley neccessary to go to practice.  I had thought about not blogging until i had got to where i wanted to be, but right now i feel it could be important and i dont know about vital, but a tool to keep me on track to get me where i want to be.  Where do I want to be, i usually say commercials, well commercials are great.  I audition and maybe a book a few and make some money, also important to keep in mind that it really could be my start, thats how a lot of actors or so they say really get started in this industry, so it may be wise to invest in that.  But it is important to look at the big picture.  I think everyone finds where there gift is most useful but right now I want to have a speaking part on a big show, or a pilot that makes it big, or just somewhere to be seen, and by golly so does everyone else haha.  One thing i know, but can never be sure, but at least this i have figured out.  Ok, its me, I am the one that needs to find a way to do this, it doesnt matter how successful other people are, or who i know, i mean that does all matter, definetly, but i cannot tag along.  I have to lead, i am leader, so i have to do that.  Am i being a bit hard on myself, maybe.  But damn, this is a tough industry, whos gonna kick my own ass if Im not kicking my own, but i have to keep a positive outlook, with positive vibes along the journey.  So maybe sometimes i find myself in a place i dont want to be, that is no reason to quit, but it is even more reason to explore and find those niches about myself and hidden gems that will help me get to the top.   I have to be more friendly, start meeting people, i dont love the people im interacting with all the time, so what, meet new people.  If anyone can do it is you, and that is me.  I feel like this is all reasonably good stuff now I am just going to start naming off stuff that could be important and vital to my search, also before i forget, i also think what will really be vital, is learning how to take one thing on at a time.  It could be vital to join improv classes, i want them to be meaningful, and i know they look good on resumes, especially if you dont have a lot of prior experience in the industry to show off.  I keep hearing commercials that sound similar to the class i was in, it may not be a bad idea to get back into that as well.  Before I go on, it is important to remember that these things i want to do, cost a hell of a lot of money, especially if you are taking 2 things at once.  So I need to find a good way to make money.  So hopefully i get lucky with a booking, making some national dough, thats not guarnteed though.  Find a very steady part time job, or a full night time job.  While keeping up with writing, acting, and networking, cooking, doing my thing, learning how to live in my own environment comfortably, without geting comfortable, or settling for what i can get.  I could sit around and start booking things, thats totally possible, do i want that to be the extent of my career? NO.  So I might as well start going after it now before i wait on that one special job.  Ok this has been a long blog and i feel that it may be starting to drag, so i will edit and go to bed.  Goodnight Blog.

Last Blog part 2

Im going to end on a slightly better note.  When I moved out here, i didnt imagine that my resources or contacts would be lacking.  I guess its just a dissapointment to be more adjusted then my cousin who lived out here way before me, and now to have him live in my house, and just kind of be pathetic, is a bumber, cant relax when hes around, so always shuffling rooms.  And the job hunts been tough, not really sure what to do, applied for jobs online today and took the bus around town.  Found a place called bread hiring, going to bring my resume to them.  But I will say this, the one day i got that audition was awesome, if I could find myself working towards that, and find myself in that position more Id be one lucky bastard, and could cancel all the shit that comes with moving somewhere nowone knows you and the few you do that you see often are worthless.  BUt thats also refreshing that means I can ditch them, leave them behind, and do me.  Well I think that was more positive.  Haha
Later blog

Last Blog

So I sought out a church again on sunday.  The pastor really annoyed me i skipped out early and it was akward haha.  Im comin to terms with that Im not going to find what I had back home, but something new.  I am the only one that will be able to find it.  Trying is not enough, I have to do what I came here to do, and I have to trust myself.  I think i should have went home for vacation, i definetly neeeded it, but will have to muster up something to focus on my life.  My focus has been totally out of whack and weeks upon months have been wasted even though I have been working hard, its been a lack of focus.  Ive always been successful, because I have always just been me, Ive done what I wanted to do, and it is always worked out for me.  My friend Taylor out here asks me to do a lot of projects but I have found my future answers will be no.  Im too damn smart to let anyone drag me around to stuff thats not worth my time or attention.  I really am not enjoying my life at all right now, and would like to change it.  So this will be my last blog post for now.  I will see you when times are different.
Eric 

Not what I thought Id type

Well, I dont know if I have much to blog, this one may even get deleted.  All I could think about on the way home from glee today was to blog on the horrors of extra work.  I certainly do have a lot more knowledge about it, but, I am going to hold back, i think, haha, just because even though I dont see light in extra work, doesnt mean i have to be angry, but I am right, and i know that, because Im smart.  Alright fellas things arent really looking up or down, i think, but, believe me, i know this sentance structure is awful right now, anyway back to my point, things have to change, i have got to change, and I must be willing.

Eric

So it is early august and its coming to that time were i came here last here almost.  I have better headshots, an agent, and probably a little moral knowledge than I did last year, which is all great, but what I really need is to get that fire back, and I still need to get a job which really sucks.  My soccer job just has not panned out I hope I did not give up on that too early, but oh well, we have to take it from here now anyway.  So I have been applying online for jobs today, I hate to say it but it seems pretty pointless, when did I start going about this all wrong.  Anyway.  Im doing extra work again, purely for the money, I am well aware that its not really a way to advance your career, 3 sag vouchers could come over time but that would require you to possibly be sitting in extra seats for ages, not always but I have realized that extra work is not the route of the serious actor, and I know this, but I am desperate for money, which is nothing new.  I havent stood up on a stand up comedy stage yet which is really too bad.  I dont know, Do I need to keep agent shopping, am i going down the right path, how come its always just a stress to even leave the house, all these questions and many more flood my mind while I write this post.  What I tink I need to do, is continue agent shopping, churhc shopping, gig shopping, job shopping.  I would really be thrilled if I could support myself and hopefully to be able to move out of this apartment complex that I live in with three guys, all who are pretty lazy and not much of a motivational booster, but I got to find Eric, forget them.  I havent been home in a long time which sucks, i thought for awhile that it might really boost my spirits to get back but I seem to be stuck in this wallowing abyss which hopeuflly will all pay off someday.  I dont really have anyone i talk to on a regular basis about things, my family calls me now and then and i have a good art/life conversations with my uncle Mike and friend Jeff from time to time.  I come to blog today at 4pm which is a very early blog for me, I have not ate today, it seems like every trip to get food is a stress so, it just makes me ansy, like there is never a good time to go to the grocery store i just dont get it, I also felt like that over the summer last year so I dont know what is all about really, adjusting i guess.  I cant give up by by God I have to find a way to get going, i feel like since I got here its just been me grasping for straws, if only i knew what to do Id freakin do it, i think, but, until next time, hopefully i can turn it around in somway and report back.
Eric

d

The Dude Abides

So today my family and I cleaned part of my room this morning.  Im too old to have to have my mom help me clean my room, but it happened and now it looks nice.  We walked down the beverly so I could show them the CBS building and I kicked my brothers butt in Fooseball. TWICE.  haha.  Well Perry was on my team the second time, and he is with me right now so this was duly noted.  I applied for a job at Curry Wurst and at a Vitamin Shoppe.  My parents were kind and took all three of us out to Maggianos.  It was hilarious when I think about how hard it was for us to order and everything that comes along with a Kolvek outing, Perry did pretty good, once again he is sitting by me right now.  Pery can also type fast, he won the type fastest award, but apparently I can type a little faster than him, he is impressed.  We walked through the grove on the way home which is always fun for the family, unfortunatley we did not catch the Trolley which my Dad loves to ride so much, yes he is a grown man, and he constantly talks about riding the trolley, haha.  We came home got our cold dr.peppers out of the fridge and watched the end of the Heat OKC series. I kind of put my basketball watching on hold this week but figured we coudl watch the end of the game because it was probably going to be the last game and it was a blast to get to do it with my family, my bros, my amigos, and Jon.  We finished the night to dancing to the music that was being played on the floor above us, some tenants Im sure where upset, we just had a lot of fun and thought it was hilarious.  We played some crazy 8's to finish out the night.  Im sure grandpa Al is reading this, Hi Grandpa Al, and who ever reads this, have a goodnight.  Goodbye.  P.S. nice having Michael out here, we have been quoting Lebowski with a fresh feel.  Goodnight. The dude abides

So in some ways I feel like Bill Murray at the begginning of stripes.  I was going to quote stripes because I looked up bill murray but i found something much more grand, and that is that, it just doesnt matter.  it just doesnt matter, it just doesnt matter, it just doesnt matter.  Lately I have been wanting to become Rocky lately, and I think that my opponnet isnt someone that I can neccessarily see, heck I dont know maybe its myself.  What I do know is that I need to show up and play the game.  Holy cow I think Im overwhelming myself, i was looking at the different acting classes you can take out here, there are millions.  I need to find steady work right now though and i would also like to find a church if thats possible. 

A grandpa Al kind of day

I think my life is pretty unbalanced, but i exercised to day, man that felt great

Shakespeare

So recently I quit working at my soccer job, I am still technically employed there, I have applied at the movie theater a couple retail places, the jamba juice and an ice cream shop.  I have also applied for after school programs and a teleouseling job to try and get people to donate money, which woulod suck but eh, maybe id be good at it.  Right now I dont really feel like I have went anywhere since i had to quit my internship and improv classes, which kind of stinks but I guess sometimes you feel like your going nowhere and have to start over, which isnt all bad, just hard to get started again, I feel like I waste a lot of time trying to get things that arent really gettable, if that makes sense.  Maybe its because I havent really worked towards getting my sag card or anything of that nature either, I beleieve I need to find a way to find a balance of trying to achieve my goals and finding a job, because then I wont were out so easy and will be more consistant with my search in both things, whithout my creative outlet I am nothing really.  Sometimes i just make myself do something like job search or go to help wanted things I find because if I dont then I might just end up doing nothing, and at least by trying I can gain some new prespective on my situation, and hopefully get a job, its just a confusing thing i guess and i will figure it out. Thanks blog

ERic

Well, I am making myself blog because I think it is slightly helpful. Right now I am taking 2 classes a week and interning at Io, although it seems like it is getting in the way of other stuff. I dont feel all that engaged in my Io classes right now and have even considered dropping them and the internship as well, perhaps I need to take a step back and figure some stuff out including what I want to do for acting, submitting headshots to agents, and figuring out a money maker solution so I dont have to constantly worry about having enough money to do certain things, but I think even once I figure out a way to really make it work it is always going to be a struggle so I might as well get used to it, stop worrying, and just find some good consistent ways to make some dough. I was on the price is right today with a bunch of friends, I was not able to see it but it was a fun and good time. It is pouring outside today. Man I really need to get on my game, I am letting to many things distract me I think, and Im not trusting myself enough or listening to my gut enough. Eventually I will just have to man up and do it. I am pretty unsatisfied with how things are going right now, my last blog it seemed like things were getting better and now I feel like i have kind of lost a handle on things even more so, but maybe it is just the storm before the sunshine, or whatever they say.
Thanks Blog

Today I woke up at the crack of dawn shortly after having a dream about failing at my improv class. I dont know what gets you up in the morning, but in my strange brain the thought of failing gives me incentive, to do what, im not quite sure, succeed i hope. Well I putsed around for awhile doing seemingly important things and then dabbled into applying for two retail jobs down at the grove. I ran into this real nice guy named Martin that I met while auditioning for Daniel Hoffs agency. I have ran into him about three times this week crazy. I met this girl in my complex named Nina and she has been encouraging me to write and get my sag card and every other thing you can think of, shes pretty cool I went and watched her do a stand up gig a couple weeks back. I also talked with another guy in my complex today named Gentrie and he gave me some sound advice, "remember why you came out to LA and remember that your current situation is just a stepping stone for the future." Good stuff i thought. I got to decide whether to extend my lease or not pretty soon, meaning any day now. I dont know its not a super easy decision and I wish I had more people to talk to about it sometimes. But I think it will be easier to not move my stuff, no living situation is perfect, and living with 5 guys I'm sure is definetly less than perfect, but it might just have to do for the time being. And I oughta be out there doing my thing so it should not bother me a bit. Lets just hope this if true. Tomorrow I will be officially enrolling with Killians commercial class, and hopefully I can land some sweet money soon and be able to get some awesome headshots, so I can send my shit out and hopefully get some awesome responses from commercial agents. I dont know what else is going on? Everyones talking about the hunger games, I am about halfway through the book and am itching to get to the theater, better get on that. My improv instructor said I did my best work in class tonight and I thought I did ok, Im certainly capable of a lot more entertaining stuff, but watched a show after class and being wiped have headed home to blog and drink my beers before I go to bed. Seem to have written a longer blog than usual. In a wierd way, I think today was really good on a lot of levels. Things are getting better, and if Im persistant that will keep happening. Everything will be ok. Dramatic blog comes to a close. Goodnight

So yesterday I slept in until 11 because I stayed up late with some people at Sheddys. Poor choice, absolutley but it was fun. Could have bought 3 6 picks witht the money used at the bar, or 40 packs of romen noodles, sad thought. I went for a run yesterday got some stuff done around the house and had improv class. Improv class was a blast and it has kind of showed me that I am getting more used to the people here. One of the girls in my class Angela is going to retake level 2, I havent got the word I have passed yet but I assume I will. But I liked what Angela said, she said she was retaking level 2 even though she passed because she thinks thats where shes at on the learning curve, and that she is trusting herself with her decision because she knows herself better than anyone else does. Although I think my work ethic has been mediocare at best latley. I have been kind of locked up with my soccer job but havent figured out any alternative plan to deal with it. Enough complaining, I signed up for extra work this month so hopefully I get to do some more background for tv. I just need to figure out how to spend my time better, and I need to get more income, Im glad that I am trying to get what I want out here, but I need more direction. Im going to check out a church I have been to before on Sunday before I coach soccer, so I am hoping that goes well. My spirits are kind of low, but I know I can do this, and hope I get in can into the right gear or state of motivation to push me to where I need to go.