A Friend

Coldly numb to the happenings of now
Within the groves of the favouring hand
Laughin at the newfound lies
It's a battle on the inside
don't know what to hide
Or let be known
the man has plans that don't include what I want
And he brings me near things that taunt who I am not
This is the experience sought
To be more near
the encompassing fear
So when I go home
I know I'm not alone

Ready or Not

I'm Ready to leave you.
So Trust me. Trust me enough to know me
Know me. Know me. Know me.
You see I talk to myself all the time
Please don't shut me down girl
I'm lost and alone talking but your still around
You say it's magic you've found
We could drive away from this place, and not state the case
Cuz Can't you see I'm still smiling
and the pain is gone when your around
But we're runnin out of time
I'll hold you forever but you only got one last chance to come with
Or it's me waving goodbye to you from a cold bench
So Trust me. Trust me to know me.
Know me enough to Trust me.
Trust you enough to know me.
Know me.

I have felt a hardened heart lately. I'm back at school, the place where being back felt so great for a short while. But then I was reminded of the dissapointments that lay here, the opportunities I have missed, and the ones I am surely going to miss in the future. My friend said it well, I just don't care lately, or i care to much, one or the other. I dont feel I have been trusting God because I'm not letting him do his thing, I bow out of situations, put my head down and walk away. I waiting for the next best thing, waiting instead of trusting that God's hand is guiding. I feel that I am just going around occupying space. I miss Hazel alot. I dream about her often. I can never really remember what the dreams are about, just that she is in them. I feel like a fake. Jacki Hartman tried to talk to me today and I had nothing to say to her, she asked me questions about myself and I couldn't be honest. I forget about the poor, and am focused on preserving of the self. This leads me into sadness and despair. I don't like it here. I have been writing song, and have been telling myself that I really care about voice, but I find myself talking with half a heart. Things need to change.

Reality

If your lookin for a means to an end your gonna get their
but not any further
Because, everything that everyones ever told you is a lie
And you know, you kno the truth, but can't seem to imply it,
on your friends and everyone. That's makin you sick and tired
They just can't see that your the one that's suppose to be admired

Cuz you've got plans
And they've got smiles

Your So scared of missin out
That it's all in your head
you go to an unkown place with a secret wish
Thatd you skim right rhough and shed come to

Because you didn't have the time, had to leave that stupid fantasy behind
Trying to get home to fast
And leave behind the past
Can't stand the killing of another, another day,
the same way
Walkin but sittin down, with a scene in your head that you've already found.

Won't say a word to anyone that could come up in here and destroy this run
Cuz they will try and pick a part of me
So they can own me and disown me
if you don't like me you can get out of the way
I'm gonna punch you in the ^^^^^^ face anyway

Tanzania

Walking away backwards from a friend who keeps on coming by, you don't think much of it because of the way she says hi. Walking backwards towards a friend you wanna make. You keep on going back to fix all your mistakes. And it seems like you've never won.
But this is it again
So go to bed
Charge your batteries
Your almost dead, just rest your head
You figure something out with every word
and the outcomes will never be absurd
Look you've both made it so far, your both in the car. With future kisses that won't go far.
I like the way she looks at me
And I can plainly see where meant to be
From far across the sea
So I can leave everything behind
And in all this madness I'll find
A way to stay here
A way to stay here
A way to stay here
A way to stay clear away from you and everything you put me through. You tried to pick a part of me. Just lift me up and dangled me.
You ^^^^^^ me up stupid
And made me look like a doll
You threw me away. ^^^^. Now I wanna die
I'm all alone
A joke without a home
A ^^^^^^^ stone.
Pour the sadness into me
Pouring over my coffee
Why couldn't they just let me be
Why'd they have to change the key
to go home man, cuz it's over
say no man, your almost over

Choice

I am a chamellion trying to shed snake skin
Slithering from state to state with memory to erase
But it remains through the changing chords
Because it's better to be tired than stable
My eyes droop from my face yanked down by your every move.
Lookin to fulfill my sweet tooth. Your my candy. Give me brandy so I can hate myself again.
Sayin shit I don't mean. These nights don't mean a thing.

As I sit in pain at the end of the day I know that it's the only way. talking less but saying more.
For good things I will endure. I'll never know what could have been. A ticket to anywhere was provided and I was countin on it to feed me a satisfying grin. But the man came for me and asked me to enjoy the show playing tonight.

Another day

All smiles choked up about the sun
And all the battles that you've won
Until your dead tired

Wondering about how I'm gonna fix this situation
And every little thing I do could be wrong
I'm trying to create the perfect song for you
And I wish I smoked ciggarrettes like you do
I try to step like you, but can't seem to make it through
any situation that includes anticipation of what could happen

And I find. I wasted all my time when I stayed on the line.
She said she liked you with her eyes. But still you act surprised.
Your love faded away as you lived the day You find again your not ok
But still theirs another day

Jugarknot Man

Jugarknot Man

Walking away backwards from a friend who keeps on coming by,
don't think much of it because of the way she says hi. Walking backwards towards a friend you wanna make. You keep on going back to fix all your mistakes. And it seems like you've never won.
But this is it again
So go to bed
charge your batteries
Your almost dead, Just rest your head
You figure something out with every word
And the outcomes will never be absurd
Look you've made it so far
Your both in the car. With future kisses that won't go far

I like the way she looks at me
And I can plainly see we were meant to be
from far across the sea
So I can leave everything behind
And in all this madness I'll find
a way to stay here.
a way to stay here.
a way to stay here.
a way to stay here.

A way to stay clear. away from you and everything you put me through. You tried to pick a part of me. Just lift me up and dangled me.
Paint the sadness into me
Pouring over my coffee
Why couldn't they just let me be
For awhile their I was happy

I thought madness was a part of me
But it's sadness that belongs to me
As I ride away to another key

Let's go man cuz it's over
Say no man your almost over
You know man nothing at all
Hello man give me a call
Put all things to rest and do what we do best
Live another day
Live another day
Live another day
Its another day
Your here to stay