Sunday, October 7, 2012

Last Leaf

Well.  Im not in a particular blogging mood.  But I do feel that at some point and time, I should revisit the month of september and whats happened in october so far.  You know I feel like I havent moved anywhere.  But lets look at what happened.  I went to at least 5 auditions this month one of them being a callback.  I have worked 4 or 5 extra jobs after that, i didnt have availability with all the auditions going on until about the 15th so thats not too bad, and two of them just gave me back the rent I paid today.  Alright, Id be lieing if I say my pursuits havent had there fair share of negativity.  But in a more positive light, I am letting some of the stuff thats not good about my current situation and L.A. get to me, but there is some beauty to that.  The beauty is, is that there are people in my position who would be content, and would not even be aware enough to know that there pursuits are not enough, or that there is tons of work to be done, the journey has really only just begun, and I would say Ive had a stroke or two, or probably more than Im aware of or being thankful for, but I am at the begginning, the very begginning of my journey out here.  Now I have joined a gym for two months.  Heres the truth, I dont like it, but i was getting a little chubby, so I am forcing myself to work out making it to the gym 5 or 6 times so far.  Unfortunatley its not helping my energy like I thought it would.  I will stick it out make the membership worth it, but am certain that my life has just surpassed the gym life, I felt it along time ago and just need to make it a point to find ways to stay in shape.  You know, this is the hardest pursuit Ive ever chased, but Im here because I know that the struggle is worth it, and its a blessing that I get to have it, not everyone gets to do this.  So I need to turn it around, learn how to appreciate it more, and get to work so I can rise to my potential.  Im not waking up with the same joy I used to wake up with.  The morning hours start to seem to hang longer and my anticipation has been shriveling up.  I just dont want to miss my moment, and there is a still a chance to turn it around.  Like I said, Ive done more than I realized I had over the last month and need to give myself a little more credit, but Ive hit a dry spell where it feels like any plan would be better than no plan.  I really am fried, thats just what it is, I dont remember the last time i was this fried, but, haha, who sits around and trys to relish on times like that.  Just got to find a way to get out there, and it will all be worth it.  I know, takes a step at a time.
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