2013

Well its been a month since the last blog...Im keeping the distractions to a minimum which is why this blog is coming so early, the day feels like it is going a heck of a lot slower.  I need to be more proactive.  I know that.  I dont know, always feeling like you dont have a clue what your doing is frustrating but Ive got find a way to figure it out I guess.  I did book a national commercial, and thats nice for now.  I know my family and friends all got my back want to see me succeed, be happy basically.  I guess its one of those things were maybe I do need to get into class again.  I have been applying for jobs on craigslist today.  Man thats the most annoying thing is just finding a freakin job, I know I cant just sit around I need to be more busy.  Thats what Caroline said when I visted Charlene and Larry.  She found a job right off craigslist that fit her and I have been trying to too.  Maybe Im just off on what I actually want.  Im not sure if I like working with kids or not anymore, Ive been told Im good with them, but I dont know how true that really is.  Hmmm.  Fake it till you make it thats what Ive got to do.  I know I dont want to work in the food industry, I dont want to paint, dont want to be a security guard.  Maybe I can do something where I teach kids drama part time or something idk.  But I certainly have wasted a whole lot of time interviewing and applying for things Im not interested.  Its awful hard to fake enthusiasm, and its not like I dont try, I try my hardest.  I need to put myself out there again, and as I type I wish that I feel like i knew how.  I feel like if i knew what to do, I would just go do it.  But, it cant be that easy I guess.  Lifes not that bad it could be worse.  Eh, dont really know where Im going with this blog.  Its just tough I guess, and I wish I could think of a better plan.  Its bound to be tough when your always looking for work, dont like your roommates and dont know a lot of people.  No real connections.  Dont really talk to any of my old friends anymore, i hope things change sooner than later and I think they will.