The Dude and Zen

So as I was walking home from the book store I had formulated in my mind what I was going to blog about.  But I will just go off the cuff because I dont really remember what I was thinking about.  Started reading this book called The Dude and Zen.  One thing that resonated with me is that he talked about rowing down the stream.  He says as he rows down the stream of life he is always getting new paddles and comrades to take down the adventure with him.  I realized lately that I may have been holding on a little to closely to my old oars and mates.  I have been blessed throughout my life to have such good paddles and comrades through my travels.  Ive had many gurus, loved ones, friends, intellectuals.
Now I believe it is time to simply continue that journey.  Live with new gurus, loved ones, friends, and some things will remain the same but they journey that I have loved so much has been ever changing.  It is as my grandma Judy says, continuing. Another thing in the book that resonated with me was is they talked about searching and finding an end point.  At times in life we find things that we believe will bring us to an end point.  We try them out and find ourselves saying, o no this isnt quite right, this wasnt exactly what I was looking for, so we jump ship and think that if we just went the wrong way.  If we would have went over here instead of there we would have made the correct decision.  But once we go over there we think we have defeated whatever was holding us back, but after a short time find out, o darn, this doesnt work either.  The thing about this is that we thought that this venturing into the world would bring us to our endpoint.  Now and end can be success, fame, making money,getting married, anything. But the truth is, is that our endpoint is exactly where we are in our lives right now.  However you feel right now, whether it be happiness or gloom, or whatever your goals are, whatever your reaching for is right in front of you.  The end is now, and always has been and will continue to be.
I think if you can learn to laugh at yourself, learn to continue on in good faith that good things will happen, then that is where the happening begins.  None of this can replace the hard work involved to get where you want to be.  But whatever it is your doing you have to relish in it, you have to find what it is you are, and you have to throw perfection to the wayside. You know, I dont really know what people think of me.  But what I have gathered from loved ones and myself, I believe myself to be a perfectionist and over ambitious.  These are only two of many things that I am.  But really I am simply just Eric.  It really doesnt matter what else I am, if I can learn to live within the Eric I am, in the here, present and now, then that matters.  And its important that whatever I find that to be, that it continues to deepen.  So instead of having to be perfect, I have to continue, I have to find the things that are in front of me.  It is my turn to bowl.  Just throw the ball.