Endurance

I have been thinking about endurance a lot lately and whether it's meaningful or not. I have always been a 20 yard sprint guy, not just in sports but in life. It's like football, I need that break after every play or I might give up on my task. My focus was heavy on letting things develop before today, and I find my laid back slacker style personality being potentially hazardous. The truth is, is I wish I knew what it felt like to have nothing to do the next day, to sit in one spot or sleep for like a week, maybe longer. This could be because I don't really do what my heart wants so I would rather not move somedays instead of going out to seemingly mundane chores that I call my life. I feel myself trying to break off from where I am at in my life right now like never before. The realization that I am not happy sometimes, makes me happy. When by some divine miracle I am able to muster my way through these unhappy things at the end of a day, it feels good, sometimes. I want to live my life for Jesus, and I feel like that means I have to live my life for me, because their is only one me, why would I be here to live someone else life. I do feel the invisible pressures from forces here on earth, I hate it. I want to be free.