No Name

This is an impulsive blog so I'll make it short and sweet.  Something happened tonight that Im not proud of, (nothing to be concerned about) I wont mention what it was because Im tired of giving a name to idotic things Ive done.  I dont know where this post is going.  Too many people really want there dreams to come true, either do that for yourself or get out of the way.

Now or Never

I start UCB classes.  I havent been doing enough, my new motto has to be now or never.  Im as ready as Ill ever be.  Have to job hunt, find new source to make money, trying to rid of what no longer serves me. Nigh blog.

Last Leaf

Well.  Im not in a particular blogging mood.  But I do feel that at some point and time, I should revisit the month of september and whats happened in october so far.  You know I feel like I havent moved anywhere.  But lets look at what happened.  I went to at least 5 auditions this month one of them being a callback.  I have worked 4 or 5 extra jobs after that, i didnt have availability with all the auditions going on until about the 15th so thats not too bad, and two of them just gave me back the rent I paid today.  Alright, Id be lieing if I say my pursuits havent had there fair share of negativity.  But in a more positive light, I am letting some of the stuff thats not good about my current situation and L.A. get to me, but there is some beauty to that.  The beauty is, is that there are people in my position who would be content, and would not even be aware enough to know that there pursuits are not enough, or that there is tons of work to be done, the journey has really only just begun, and I would say Ive had a stroke or two, or probably more than Im aware of or being thankful for, but I am at the begginning, the very begginning of my journey out here.  Now I have joined a gym for two months.  Heres the truth, I dont like it, but i was getting a little chubby, so I am forcing myself to work out making it to the gym 5 or 6 times so far.  Unfortunatley its not helping my energy like I thought it would.  I will stick it out make the membership worth it, but am certain that my life has just surpassed the gym life, I felt it along time ago and just need to make it a point to find ways to stay in shape.  You know, this is the hardest pursuit Ive ever chased, but Im here because I know that the struggle is worth it, and its a blessing that I get to have it, not everyone gets to do this.  So I need to turn it around, learn how to appreciate it more, and get to work so I can rise to my potential.  Im not waking up with the same joy I used to wake up with.  The morning hours start to seem to hang longer and my anticipation has been shriveling up.  I just dont want to miss my moment, and there is a still a chance to turn it around.  Like I said, Ive done more than I realized I had over the last month and need to give myself a little more credit, but Ive hit a dry spell where it feels like any plan would be better than no plan.  I really am fried, thats just what it is, I dont remember the last time i was this fried, but, haha, who sits around and trys to relish on times like that.  Just got to find a way to get out there, and it will all be worth it.  I know, takes a step at a time.
Night Blog   

Audition callback

Did my callback this morning, felt it went well, the guy was laughing a lot and it seemed genuine, ive been in some rooms where im like,  yeah they just do that for everyone but this was fun and i did a good job.  After that, man the day just seemed incredibly long haha, nothing new.  Probably not the best way too spend my time but after my audition i checked out the beverly hills area today a little bit, i havent walked around there since ive lived here, so i went and saw all the little places I wanted to see and took some pictures.  Its a really chill area, man if you had like a crazy week and were really busy and wiped and actually needed a break unlike me who is kind of dazed and confused trying to find productive steps to take and ways to stay busy, that would be a great place to relax i think.  I dont know much about the hills and im sure its not perfect, but there are definetly some sweet spots to just chill it looks like.  After that i went on probably a fifteen-thirty minute bike ride.  I made two very small purchases today but ate all my food primarily in the house.  I caught a little bit of seinfeld debated whether i was going to check out some improv at UCB and decided against, idk, get tired of going to all these places just me and idk, thats all i guess.  Well i stayed home and I didnt use the computer but i wrote in one of my notebooks kind of story notes for hopefully a short story, its about a drifting man which i didnt base on my current exploits, but kind of, it is certainly a part of me, while ive always had drive and direction, there has always been a wandering around, seeing what the hells going on with eric haha.  Im thinking about diving into my film making book.  Ive also been doing research online about auditing classes, improv classes, the industry and what not.  Well something I can think about from that is perhaps i should audit a class, just to see what scene study is like, and maybe thats a venue that its actually possible to network at.  Before I forget, i think it is my cousin Calebs birthday on thursday, trying to think of something to do for him or get him.  I know he likes cars, and if hes like his dad which i think he is, he likes comic books and reading.  Well, I am just kind of exhausted, im not sure exactly why, i think its just because i dont feel like i have any real direction right now, been like this for awhile, its tough, but hopefully i can snap out of it.  I could be wrong but i feel like it would be a really good thing to make a friend out here, have a wing man or something.  I mean I know its all got to be me, but, dam, were not in kansas anymore.

Eric     

Acting 101

I have been tentative about blogging.  But wont go in to detail. Straight to the point. I have been doing extra work and figuring stuff out with my agent, that is more than some people tend to do, it is still very bare minimum.  I dont want to live a life of bare minimum, thats not who i am, thats not who i have ever been, go big or go home has to be the tale for me, its the only thing that gets me excited and going.  No more excuses, there are too many actors out here trying to do exactly the same thing that I am doing, some struggling more, some less, who cares.  Now I just need to seek or figure out, although i dont think figuring out is neccessarily the best strategy, I am not a psychic and there is really no idea to know exactly what works, but you can put your best attempt out there, go with your gut, and eventually get to that point where, ya, maybe you do have it figured out and know whats best for you, my goal is to get to this point.  Whether this means getting a better job, sticking with the same job, marketing myself more as an actor, doing stand up, improv, or whatever really, sag contract ects i believe really has to be a journey of trial and error.  I have an audition on tuesday, so what I need to do is go in there and absolutley kill it, know what i am doing as far as sides, get in there and let loose in front of the camera, do my best, go home, look forward to more opportunities to perform.  Stay proactive, stay attentive to whats going on around me, go for it, go for it, and go for it some more.  I had a conversation with my uncle Mike tonight, it was literally just talking to my Uncle Mike about WWE seeing whats up, catching up.  I really want to strive to be my own boss/entrepenuer.  Have a standard, set goals, get in touch with my spirituality and make some serious shit happen, or let it happen, being prepared.  There are just too many ways to be a proactive actor, a successful actor, there is no excuse for not getting the job done.  I have to have a plan, i have to attack that plan.  If i wanted to be comfortable, i would have just stayed at home, i didnt want that, and thats why i didnt do that.  I chose to come out here, i chose to do it, its a new season, and its game time, so it is absolutley neccessary to go to practice.  I had thought about not blogging until i had got to where i wanted to be, but right now i feel it could be important and i dont know about vital, but a tool to keep me on track to get me where i want to be.  Where do I want to be, i usually say commercials, well commercials are great.  I audition and maybe a book a few and make some money, also important to keep in mind that it really could be my start, thats how a lot of actors or so they say really get started in this industry, so it may be wise to invest in that.  But it is important to look at the big picture.  I think everyone finds where there gift is most useful but right now I want to have a speaking part on a big show, or a pilot that makes it big, or just somewhere to be seen, and by golly so does everyone else haha.  One thing i know, but can never be sure, but at least this i have figured out.  Ok, its me, I am the one that needs to find a way to do this, it doesnt matter how successful other people are, or who i know, i mean that does all matter, definetly, but i cannot tag along.  I have to lead, i am leader, so i have to do that.  Am i being a bit hard on myself, maybe.  But damn, this is a tough industry, whos gonna kick my own ass if Im not kicking my own, but i have to keep a positive outlook, with positive vibes along the journey.  So maybe sometimes i find myself in a place i dont want to be, that is no reason to quit, but it is even more reason to explore and find those niches about myself and hidden gems that will help me get to the top.   I have to be more friendly, start meeting people, i dont love the people im interacting with all the time, so what, meet new people.  If anyone can do it is you, and that is me.  I feel like this is all reasonably good stuff now I am just going to start naming off stuff that could be important and vital to my search, also before i forget, i also think what will really be vital, is learning how to take one thing on at a time.  It could be vital to join improv classes, i want them to be meaningful, and i know they look good on resumes, especially if you dont have a lot of prior experience in the industry to show off.  I keep hearing commercials that sound similar to the class i was in, it may not be a bad idea to get back into that as well.  Before I go on, it is important to remember that these things i want to do, cost a hell of a lot of money, especially if you are taking 2 things at once.  So I need to find a good way to make money.  So hopefully i get lucky with a booking, making some national dough, thats not guarnteed though.  Find a very steady part time job, or a full night time job.  While keeping up with writing, acting, and networking, cooking, doing my thing, learning how to live in my own environment comfortably, without geting comfortable, or settling for what i can get.  I could sit around and start booking things, thats totally possible, do i want that to be the extent of my career? NO.  So I might as well start going after it now before i wait on that one special job.  Ok this has been a long blog and i feel that it may be starting to drag, so i will edit and go to bed.  Goodnight Blog.

Last Blog part 2

Im going to end on a slightly better note.  When I moved out here, i didnt imagine that my resources or contacts would be lacking.  I guess its just a dissapointment to be more adjusted then my cousin who lived out here way before me, and now to have him live in my house, and just kind of be pathetic, is a bumber, cant relax when hes around, so always shuffling rooms.  And the job hunts been tough, not really sure what to do, applied for jobs online today and took the bus around town.  Found a place called bread hiring, going to bring my resume to them.  But I will say this, the one day i got that audition was awesome, if I could find myself working towards that, and find myself in that position more Id be one lucky bastard, and could cancel all the shit that comes with moving somewhere nowone knows you and the few you do that you see often are worthless.  BUt thats also refreshing that means I can ditch them, leave them behind, and do me.  Well I think that was more positive.  Haha
Later blog

Last Blog

So I sought out a church again on sunday.  The pastor really annoyed me i skipped out early and it was akward haha.  Im comin to terms with that Im not going to find what I had back home, but something new.  I am the only one that will be able to find it.  Trying is not enough, I have to do what I came here to do, and I have to trust myself.  I think i should have went home for vacation, i definetly neeeded it, but will have to muster up something to focus on my life.  My focus has been totally out of whack and weeks upon months have been wasted even though I have been working hard, its been a lack of focus.  Ive always been successful, because I have always just been me, Ive done what I wanted to do, and it is always worked out for me.  My friend Taylor out here asks me to do a lot of projects but I have found my future answers will be no.  Im too damn smart to let anyone drag me around to stuff thats not worth my time or attention.  I really am not enjoying my life at all right now, and would like to change it.  So this will be my last blog post for now.  I will see you when times are different.
Eric