South Dakota

Alright I feel like I had some good forward moving thoughts today.  Its the story of a kid from a galaxy far away called South Dakota who understood that coffee was one of his basic freedoms.  I did some writing today, I did some running today, it was a good day, did the works, applied for jobs, sent out postcards.  Man I wish I had a car haha, the dude needs a car man.  I even filmed some like thought stuff today which I thought might be a waste of time but after doing it I see that it kind of helps me formulate my ideas.  At the end of the day I had like a 3 hour psychological panic, it was shorter than that but it felt like 3 hours, and it was not a panic, it was just a zone out or something.  Im not sure why, I think its just, idk, I just need to keep moving forward that's all.  Whatever I do moving forward is always good, even go ahead and take risks and fail that's fine too that's fine.  Just not being afraid of anything is the important thing I think.  So that is my goal is that I dare myself to take risks, ask people to do projects, write my own projects, not a bad idea because then you start building yourself a reel, barring you work is good enough for a reel but something must be better than nothing, or at least its worth finding out whether it is or not.  

Another Day

Woke up at 6am today.  Did some morning Yoga.  Cleaned up around the house applied for a few jobs online, got a coffee and breakfast food for the first part of the week.  I ran to the bank, came back, and then took the bus to my audition.  I was pleased with my audition, I felt like I did a good job reacting and doing non verbal things well, the non verbal auditions had been the ones Id been struggling with and this one went really well.  I did my job and I feel good about that.  Went to Amobea records bought a two dollar Steve Martin movie which Im watching right now its actually pretty good.  I picked up postcards I ordered about a week ago from argentum photo lab and also got mailing labels.  Came back to the house did some taebo.  Then I took the bus to the Actors Gang and auditioned for a school actually.  I don't necessarily intend to join the school but it is something I signed up for quite awhile ago and its one of those things were you go because you scheduled it.  You never know who your going to run into and you don't want to be known as the guy who does not show up for stuff when scheduled.  Its was a group workout basically and its like I did taebo at the house and then went and worked out even harder at the studio.  A interesting surprise was that one of our teachers in the studio was Tim Robbins who is a famous actor, he is in Shawshank.  So I had to call my friend Brad because that is one of his favorite actors.  I got a burger from and fri from inn and out.  Today was sort of productive and also not really, but kind of, a strange mixture.  But today felt like a morale win at least.  And yes I mean morale, not moral.  I know a lot more proactive work needs to be done but Im going to be positive about today, its a start.  Alrighty then, that about wraps her all up.
Dude Abides

Writing again

So I actually wrote a pretty substantial blog and then all the sudden the page got deleted.  It happens.  I was writing about ways I need to be more proactive and how I need to pick it up and be hungry again basically, and I also wrote some new things I was looking into like Second City which may be worth looking into.  Im basically trying to stay in the moment and keep a positive outlook on things because that is what Ill need to crawl my way back into a good place in my head and to have good motivational vibes to kind of power me towards achieving my goals and not getting so side tracked with things that are not important.  I think I keep telling myself Im going to do it tomorrow and that attitude doesn't get much done.  What I have here is something that needs to be delt with now, however I gotta do it, do it now.  I don't want to be hard on myself but I want to motivate myself, just try and work hard enough to breath again so I can see the light and live in the moment.  Anyway, I got new headshots and postcards to be sent out, going to be consistent with that and ordered enough to be.  Like when I auditioned for my agent I didn't get in until about the 6th or 7th or 12th time so I know if Im not auditioning and I am just sending them something I am definetly going to have to be persistent for them to call me.  I will also have to be doing something, right now Im taking classes at the Groundlings but I think my whole life has to be less pinpointed and I just have to be proactive in general so when being asked what Im doing there are all sorts of things to explain because im not just trying to be proactive but my life will have become a proactive thing, so there will be no need to try and demonstrate how if it is.  One of the reasons I am writing this post is that I think I need to continue to do things like this, whether it is in my journal or a blog on the internet.  I must take this time to myself and lets this be a part of my proactive journey.  Another side thought is while I wish sometimes I was much further than I am, and I really still do, I realize that you know its just here for the taking as long as your being proactive that's all that matters, and also, Im starting to realize that some people out here have kind of quit on the acting thing.  So when you do things you have to do to pay bills and such don't feel so bad about it not lining up PERFECTLY because your doing it for your goal, so if you can remember that and just stay focused on it, keep at it and you will reach that level of maybe not perfection, but hitting your groove.

First 24 Blog

I wont blog like this everyday.  But I figure it was my first day at a new job, some new stuff has come to light perhaps.  I substitute taught at a preschool today, I will also be doing it tomorrow.  Woke up very early to catch a bus because they wanted me to be there at 8.  I was for sure I wouldn't make it on time just because the nature of my not really hustling in the morning.  I got there at like 7:45 and was one of the first teachers there.  I took the 212 and then got on the 302.  I saw a few homeless people on the way as always.  I saw a sign that said your never to young to dream big.  I saw signs that said Dream in something bigger, or something like that. Well I got interrupted mid blog so Im out of the frame I came in with.
Anyway.  I am remembering that I need to believe in a higher power and have a strong personal relationship with God, community is what its all about but I think I at times in my life I have underestimated the relationship of just 1 on 1 God time has had in my life, so trying to get back on track with that. 
Wow I'm distracted  Here comes the attempt to plow through the blog.  I find myself letting myself get overwhelmed about stuff, and I think I wrote this earlier but that doesn't benefit me, and I had some good thoughts and that helped me realize to just not get overwhelmed, theres no reason to and the stuff that Im worrying about is kind of minimal.  The stuff I should be doing is a different story, Im worrying about stuff that matters but Im giving it too much weight.  Anyway I thought this blog was going to be more enlightening haha. 

To New Times and Experiences

In a really strange way today was one of the best days Ive had in awhile.  Im not sure why, but I think its because my mind was more open and receptive.  Just more than general.  I have been doing meditation techniques, i took today off but I think the work I did the previous days helped my mind stay fresh and connected to being.  This is my goal this year, to stay connected and more open to possibilities, I think the more possibilities and positive attitude you can contain the better.  I think staying open to possibilities can lead to new experiences, which is exactly what we need, its what the human being is made up of, so my goal is to stay open and to continue having new experiences and I wont let any negativity from anyone or myself get in the way of that happening, just have to stay focused and continue to live.  I read something interesting in backstage which said that everyone in this town is pretty much connected to the industry somehow, so thats all the more reason to just do the things you love and continue to meet people and live your life.  Im not perfect, nowone is, I have plenty of things to work on, Im glad that Im out here doing it, living, experiencing life, breaking the mold a bit.  I think setting goals, staying positive, meeting people, seeking, searching living I think thats the good stuff, thats what will make things happen keep things going, keep things enjoyable.  Alrighty then, Ill let you know how that goes later.  Peace, love, light, strength, hustle, all of it.

This picture is of Charlene my relative, my Grandpa Al's first cousin.(I think)

Keep on keepin on

Alright.  Not sure if its a neccessary blog time, but the minds a thinking, need to at least put some things into prospective for myself.  I worked at a La works program tonight where I basically babysat toddlers.  Hung out with Orlando the most, high energy, lots of fun fun kid.  Talked to my gma Judy tonight, walked home and when I got off the phone with her ran into some of the boys from the 11th floor who I have pretty short but fun interactions with out here.  They somehow know I booked something Im not even sure I told them and they were like awesome keep it up man!  Might start working out with Brett, either way I ran today and know that I need to keep on keeping on myself know one will do the work for me.  I also just want to acknowledge I booked a commercial, made some money, dont know how much more money I'll make or how it works reallly.  But, whether it was the best expereience or not, I did it!  I booked something, finally, did it.  Now its over, the reality is that I did it, and need to keep it going and find more great jobs. Gotta keep on keepin on no matter how hard it is, wake up every morning and do it.  Stay happy know you can do it, and trust yourself. You can do it, you can do it, you can do it.
Night Blog

Persistance

Tonight I was reading an article in the backstage acting trades to hopefully learn more about the industry.  I read this article that had a long list of tools or advice to help an actor and his or her career.  Lots of times when I read this articles it is a lot to stomach and Im not always sure I get much out of it, but on this point list a specific word, and topic was covered that help me put all the advice into perspective so I could take something away from it.  It was persistance, you have to be persistant is basically what its saying, not give up, do plays, audition, perform, continue putting yourself out there.  One of the reason this rings true to me is because when I met my agent for the first time he came out in the hallway and got me at a open call.  He commented on my look, asked me what I liked to do, we had a conversation, I really didnt have that much to say, I was just kind of excited that I had some how found myself sitting in his office, a little dumbfounded, that was probably the time I should have been alert and ready for conversation, haha anyway he had a lot to say and it was fine.  He let me know that the reason he brought me in his office, and wanted to take me on as a client was because he knew I was serious because I kept coming back, I was persistant.  Now, let me add here, I was living very intentionally but really had no idea what I was doing as far as pursuing the agent, but I never quit, and I landed an agent.  I think that my career will be defined by things like this, but the agent was just 1 wrung, even though I was a little high when I left that office knowing that I must have done something right some how, I thought I must have a little bit of the right idea on how to do this.  I have to approach my whole career like this, it cant be just to land the agent but it has to be to market myself, to book the next job, to find creative and meaningful work, to pay the bills, to network, to stay positive, to work out.  Now that is a long list of things after a simple idea so I will also quote Al Pacino, he the name of the game is you want to find work that is acting, the name of the game is to have a script a performance and an audience.  You need those things and you have to work hard but believe one thing will lead to the next.  You have to open yourself up in performance so its about the unknown and you dont really know how your going to appoach it at all.  So I have tried a few things out here and read a lot on acting, so i have my experience and my research.  But what rings with me is the word persistance, thats one of the only words that makes sense to me, all I know that it means not giving up, not getting discouraged.  I have been auditioning a lot commercially lately, an open all for a movie and thats about it.  I need to be an active participant in my career.  I have to overcome that mindset that says you will go here and get discovered and become famous, but rather think you will go here and do the work you came to do, the work you love, and yes have high hopes, hope something great comes of it, but love what your doing while your doing it and things will unfold itself.  I will not give up, I have a lot to give, and I must keep giving it.